Find out what it really takes to succeed. Rob reveals how he went from rags to riches and it has everything to do with YOU. You can listen to the WROAR Radio broadcast of “Self-Transformation vs. Self-Improvement” with co-hosts JK and Deeone below.
Self-Transformation vs. Self-Improvement
This is a big one. Are you ready for it? The winning way is self-transformation.
We hear about self-improvement often. There are thousands of books that give us tips on how to improve ourselves mentally, physically, financially, in relationships, at work ….
Self-improvement is a process of making small changes in our lives – where we improve our health habits, improve our memory skills, improve our relationship skills, improve our musical ability, improve our ability to make more money, improve our sales technique.
Everyone loves self-improvement, yet something often seems to be missing.
Now let’s look at self-transformation. We don’t hear a lot about self-transformation. This is because we are conquered by worried emotions so often than we cannot begin to imagine taking on a campaign to regain total self-command.
Self-transformation is a process of creating ourselves anew – where we examine our daily thoughts and activity to see how we are slumbering upon ourselves, where we notice how we are behaving in fearfully reactive ways, where we become conscious of self-defeating behavior, and actually recognize it as self-defeating.
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Illuminating Tip:
Only the daring choose self-transformation
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Only the daring choose self transformation because self-transformation requires valuing more light rather than crying over the darkness … valuing days without worries more than enjoying the drama of wailing out “poor me”… valuing the end of self-doubt rather than coming up with excuses when things aren’t working out … valuing living one’s own life rather than hoping someone else will give you the perfect action plan for perfect success.
It requires daily alertness to adopt the above values – it means seeing that we place ourselves in psychological prison when we don’t dare value these things.
I am not putting down self-improvement. Self-improvement offers a healthy viewpoint … up to a point. But self-improvement doesn’t rid you of those feelings of helplessness, it doesn’t offer you experiences of casualness and calmness when the going gets tough, it doesn’t rid you of the hidden hostility that grips you when others oppose your point of view.
As part of your program for outrageous success – dare to choose self-transformation. To do this, you must sacrifice the false pleasures that self-improvement offers. Some folks improve their health habits to feel superior to unhealthy people. Some people improve their memory skills to look smarter than others. Some people improve their relationships skills to manipulate others. Some people improve their money-making skills to lord it over others.
When folks strive constantly for self-improvement to gain false pleasures, like the ones mentioned above, their lives continue to feel empty. Do you know why? When we participate in self-improvement to gain false pleasures, we always feel indebted to others. We’re never healthy enough to satisfy everyone. We’re never smart enough to impress everyone. We’re never rich enough to arouse everyone.
The way to live in which you are not indebted to anyone comes with self-transformation. As you transform yourself, you break free of discouraging attitudes – you remember the existence of something within you that is never discouraged, never feels inferior, is never afraid, and never indebted to others.
Student: You would think everyone would choose self-transformation.
Teacher: We live in a distracting world. We are so distracted by the potholes on the road of life, and the psychological detours we are asked to take, that we cannot hear the good news when told that there is an open highway straight ahead for immediate use.
To see far, first be willing to look close. Be mindful of the potholes and psychological detours on the road of life. Genuine aid awaits you right now. Know that self-transformation is not a burden, as fearful thinkers think; it is an incredible opportunity for freedom – so you can do what you really want to do and delight in every day in wonderfully new ways.
“He has chosen the highway; he will advance.”
- Bhagavad-Gita
In what domain of life have you chosen the highway? In what part of your life are you inwardly free from fighting with yourself? Ah, the sweet experience of self-transformation.
Please share your experiences on this matter.
Thank you, and blessings
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On a side note: If you are in Boston, you cannot afford to miss our next Mind Adventure Meetup. Space is very limited. More info here.
“Best Comment of the Week.” This weeks best comments come from Julie of A Clear Sign and Rus. Thank you for your heartfelt sharing. See their comments here. Illustrations by nick
Great show everyone. That was some real deal stuff. You all hung it out there. I must say I am chomping at the bit for this new book too. If last night was a taste, I’m looking forward to the main course. Everyones perspective hit home with me. First off, Rob I think I took it for granted the obstacles you overcame to be successful. It took some stones to go for it like you did. It really made me question where I am, where I’ve been and where I am going. I have to admit all my changes have been more inline with the self-improvement end of the spectrum. I do think those little changes are adding up to a “self-transformation.” It won’t be a quick turnaround but I can feel I’m not the same person I was a year or even six months ago. But thinking about this, has also made me realize that these little self-improvement things have their limit. If I’m going to keep on keeping on I have to prepare myself to make a big leap soon. I’m not even sure what that is. I’ve been so focused on the small changes around me that I have to start thinking bigger. Once again I am inspired and scarred all at the same time. Stop doing that to me! Ha. Just kidding, you know I love this stuff.
Hi Roger. I know you love this stuff. It shows in your psychological evolutive progress. Many people pretend to love this stuff, but are unaware that they are simply playing a role called ‘self-improvement’. They get so far and the quit before they get to self-transformation. You are not quitting. thank you
Gentlemen, great show! I had also noticed recently how much marketing push there is to delve into the “next, wonderful, miraculous” self-help program or book that promises to change our lives. I really thought that “4 HOUR” work week was the “4 DAY” work week until someone pointed out that I read it wrong. I was surprised by how many people fall for this idea that little or no actual work is required, even after they’ve been educated and read widely. That hope just means you don’t yet understand the possibilities – there is a much easier road of freedom right here. Most of us already have the basics down. To keep pursuing the “next thing” is an avoidance of taking our own lives under our own control and do the tough inner work that is required to transform. Once you realize what is possible, then your whole mindset changes and you can get to work. Rob is right about coaching yourself – and it isn’t always easy, it requires looking right inside where things don’t always look so pretty. Only you can get inside and decide that you are not stuck, except for where you insist on keeping yourself stuck. I took a spiritual path to uncover the ways I was negative and stopping myself – I learned to follow my intuition, and that has made all the difference. That is but one road. (Rob, thank you for featuring my comment this week.)
Hi Julie. There is an open and not subtle competition between human beings and polarity. Progress is not a straight line; polarity (where opposites exist0 sees to that. Disappointment is an obvious factor in turning life sour. What do human beings who are committed to self-transformation have to say about disappointment? They say, “It seems that we must develop a fondness for disappointment … because there is going to be a lot of it … and if we are not fond of it, we cannot learn from it.” Thank you for your point of view.
One thing that really hit me on the radio show last night was to learn to coach myself. So I was thinking what does the coach bring to the situation. They don’t have emotion or finances at risk, they don’t have the drama addiction…at least not for my dilemmas. They also don’t have the litany of “I can’t, I won’t rules that invalidate obvious solutions. Why do I trust someone else for my answers…because I have learned that I don’t see situations clearly when “she” is around and for whatever reason she is lurking today.
I made a rule to trust my gut…like doubling in bridge, if you think of it do it. I made a rule that three yellow warnings means walk away. So whats the trouble? Fear, foolishness, and seeing clearly what’s a real warning and what’s my drama seeking perversion of what’s really happening. This is the danger of the positive attitude stuff… Of course you feel better when you choose to ignore the truth in front of you.
A potential tenant met with me and we made an agreement…things started to change..and then their brother, the lawyer wants me to make edit changes to the rental agreement. It’s all small stuff and I would give in to all of it..but a small voice is asking me “is this the tip of the iceberg” or just a few remaining details to clear up.
I’m just not answering till I am clear and comfortable with my response. I am both capable and committed to making good choices and I’ll either get it right or oops my way through.
How does this fit in with transformation vs improvement? Improvement is about making the right decision transformation is about changing how I make the decision.
I’ll be working hard on this one …thanks
Hi sylvia. “Improvement is about making the right decision transformation is about changing how I make the decision.” Now that is one great piece of advice, sylvia! What mental technique did you put into action to come up with this great piece of wisdom? Pay attention when you come up with noble thoughts of this caliber. The highest enjoyment is having such thoughts come to you frequently (out of the blue). Thank you
You laid it out there Rob. I loved hearing how you made it. It goes hand in hand with last weeks blog and helps me see where I need to step up my efforts and attitude. I think my big hangup is that Iam still scared to get out my comfort zone. I’d rather improve little things and convince myself I am making inroads to my dream job. What is becoming clear to me is that if ‘m going to make it, it’s going to have to be a “transformation.” I feel a little dopey for thinking that making a “vision” board and checking job postings on craigslist during my lunch break is enough. The thing is I don’t know exactly what I need to do now, but kind of for the first time I know there is a “feeling” missing. It’s like everything I’m doing is just distracting me from making THE BIG jump. I’m supper excited tonight because I know I want to get to that “feeling” and I know there is no self-improvement I can make, or book to read to get there. I’ve done all that! It’s really time to jump in and get hyped up about life again. I’ve been in a slump because I’m distracting myself by thinking if I eat better, exercise, and blah blah blah somehow it will get me that hot job in Manhattan!
It’s all about the “BEINGness for me now 
!! Thanks everyone! 
hi Kara. Yes, self-transformation is about BEINGNESS, isn’t it. The DOINGNESS and HAVINGNESS will naturally follow. No woman’s future is damaged by action that comes from her genuine BEINGNESS, Kara. Ponder that for a moment. Blessings
What a great distinction you make here. It definitely had me thinking about my own transitions in life. I’ve had a few “transformation” experiences. They were all tough and scary but they were really very exciting! There was a “butterfly” feeling in the stomach… a lot like being in love, come to think of it. Maybe, it’s just being in love with life? I looove that feeling!
It is a feeling of knowing I am on the right track and on the verge of a great change. But when I get caught up in the “self-improvement” game it is like I am forcing something. I feel like something is missing and I’m trying everything to fill a hole in my life. I think the improvements are good and helpful, but they are kind of shallow. Sometimes I just need to go through that phase to get a better perspective of my “big picture.” The last year I have been doing the “self improvement dance’ because I am going through a big life transition. Funny, I have never thought about it like this and am finding it very enlightening. A bulb went on in my mind this week! 
Thanks everyone.
Hi Carol Anne. Indeed, the self-improvement trap is an attempt to fill a hole in one’s life. The problem is that we are digging a second hole to fill in the first hole with the dirt we dig out of the second hole. Now we need to dig a third hole to fill in the second hole, and a fourth hole to fill in the third hole. Alas, the trap: never enough self-improvement to truly feel satisfied. That only comes with self-transformation. Thank you
Hey brother man. This one is right on. i’m all about the Transformation baby! In fact, I have a lot of weird, quirky habits that people might find contradictory for a positive guy like me. Lots of people peg me as a “self-help, always look on the bright side” chap. But I have lots of surprising tendencies that don’t at all fit with that image…. And I’m OK with that because changing those don’t mean doggie squat to my big life mission. For instance I love driving my big gas guzzling truck. It’s all tricked out with the big fat ass tires etc… the whole nine yards. But for some reason people think I should be driving a hybrid/prius thing. It just aint me. If I were to give up my joys in the name of self improvement, I wouldnt be as fired up about transforming my life and lives of those around me. For me it’s about keeping the excitement. I’m not going to give up going to the pub and having a few beers with the maniacs in my neighboorhood because Alcohol is evil or something. I can do more good for the world being out and about and living life. I think lots of people get too uptight about making self-improvments because they have no idea what their purpose in life is. Hey, as far as I’m concerned people can have as many vices as they want as long as they are doing something good for the world…who the hell cares if they do it with a cigarette hanging out their mouth and a martini in hand!
Hi Rus. Nice catch. Many folks take self-improvement too seriously; they take all of the fun out of life while forever trying to improve themselves more and more and more. What greater pleasure is there than to find myself creating myself anew – the way I naturally ought to be? Now that is what makes self-transformation fun. Yes, you can still do a lot of the same things you always did, but the experience is entirely different (so much better). Thank you
Hi Rob,
This is a powerful point! I can see how self-development can be limited to more superficial changes. To really go deep requires transforming our core beliefs. Everyone has blind spots that get in the way of their full potential, and no amount of productivity or goal-setting techniques will suffice if we don’t look deeper. Transformation comes by repositioning these dark beliefs and beginning to fill ourselves with light.
Hi Joe. YES, transformation is about ridding oneself of those deep-content thoughts that turn off the light. A happy life consists of a mind that is right, that turns to the light, undauntedly and steadfastly. This mind is beyond the influence of any dark, deep-content thoughts. Thank you for pointing that out.
Hi Robert. I love it when you go deep. This is big stuff. It’s like when they say, “Small minds discuss things. Great minds discuss ideas…” I’ve never been interested in making “self-improvements” but transformation? Heck yes! Millions of people get so wrapped up in the world of gossip, events and celebrities. All these things are distractions from higher, deeper thinking. This is why I have never really read any “self-help” books. To me they take the uniqueness and excitment out of life and try to give you a formula for living. To me the best “self-help” books are the great works of poetry and fiction. There are no answers within those pages. Only deeper questions that we have to answer ourselves. Transformation only begins when we start thinking for ourselves.
Hi Salty. “To me the best “self-help” books are the great works of poetry and fiction. There are no answers within those pages. Only deeper questions that we have to answer ourselves. Transformation only begins when we start thinking for ourselves.” Now, this – right here – is a great statement. If we will lift up the mind, let us read great works of poetry and fiction. Thank you.
You all stirred me up this week. I felt Deeones passion and struggle. It was amazing. I can tell in his voice he is really doing the work to transform his life. Just sensing his committment made me look at my life. I know Deeone has a clear goal to become a writer of accord, but it is a little different for me. I have my Rieke practice and a good relationship. My transformation has more to do with getting grounded and living in the real world again. For too long I’ve been living in the nebulous world of “self-improvement”… just kind of pretending I’m changing, but really repeating the same old patterns. I get wrapped up in all these grandiose ideas and philosophies, but never really been able to make it stick in my life. I have to “transform” back to a normal and practical person!
I want to maintain all these great ideas and values, but I want to get my mind on planet earth again. To me that would be a real transformation. It would improve my relationships with family, friends and even improve my business. I guess for some people a transformation would mean getting their thinking more “out there” funny, for me it is getting my mind back in the “gutter” ha ha 
Hi Alicia. Self-Transformation always means creating oneself anew. What will it take for Alicia to get back in the world (back in the gutter) where the trenches are dug? When we get stuck in the nebulous world of self-improvement, we spend a lot of energy improving the false self that we created ourselves to be in childhood moments of fear and pain. You are right on target with what you’re up to, Alicia.
Blessings
I am all about transformation! I am working on it every day. Thanks for the review! I am reading a really great book right now. It is called, “Being You: How To Live Authentically” by author Gerard M. Doyle. This is a non-fiction self help book to show readers how to be confident and live life without fear or anxiety. This book is helping me transform myself! http://www.adaptivefreedom.com/
Hi Robyn. As I mentioned to Alicia (above), self-transformation is always about creating oneself anew. How must you see yourself in order to live with less fear and anxiety, Robyn? That is the question to ponder, isn’t it. RECEPTIVITY is the key to a new “me”. Be willing to see thyself differently. Thank you for commenting. Blessings
This has been foremost in my mind lately and I didnt even really know it. I think you articulate a very necessary distinction we all have to make. I think I have been caught up in occupying my time with “self-improvement” because I’m working towards my “self-transformation.” For me to be able to see the difference is quite enlightening. Like you, Rob, I remember when I was starting my firm I was scarred as hell. I put all my eggs in one basket knowing full well I could fall flat on my face. Keep in my I did all this with one Daughter and another one on the way. My wife and I didn’t have two nickels to rub together and I was risking some job security and financial stability by striking out on my own. I’m not totatly sure what compelled me because I was a nervous wreck. In hindsight I think it was just an innate drive for that “transformation.” Certainly, I wasn’t interested in self-improvement. I was living a high wire act just to deal with the stress. I had a terrible diet, chain smoking, no exercise and my partners and I made “happy hour” a daily occurrence. And I don’t regret any of that stuff. We were just doing whatever it took to make it work. We all were undergoing a pivotal transformation. But, now that I am retired and secure, transformation comes much harder. I don’t know if I’ve really seriously looked at what that means. I say I do, but lets face it, I have been noodling around with different ideas and activities that are really boring self-improvement distractions. Thanks for this topic. It has got me thinking from a renewed perspective.
Hi Georgie. Self-Transformation is always a topic of curiosity, be we age twenty-three or one hundred and three. It is fun to be an ‘impractical dreamer’ and imagine ourselves differently. Or is it impractical? hmmm. I like your spunk, Georgie.
Hey Rob. I think I’ve been doing a pretty good job about transforming myself. My transformation was when I woke up and realized I was putting way too much importance on what everyone else thinks is “normal.” My whole drive to find a girlfriend and date and all that business was more about living into some idea society has for me. I kind of see how crazy that is. My heart and passion has always been my work and career… why deny that? Looking back I’m happiest when I am totally focused on one thing and one thing only. For me that has been my work. Why loose focus of what has been working for me? I don’t want to totally deny that having a love life would be nice, but if I have to sacrafice what comes natural to me to do it…. I just don’t know. My transformation is like a reversion of sorts. It’s like I went astray reading books on how to pick up girls and subscrbing to Maxim and whatnot. Now I’ve returned and feel better than ever!
Hi Alan. Now that you have ‘returned’, your next goal should be to win the valuable gain that is available through the losses you suffered. Read that idea again, slowly. It has a valuable lesson in it for you. Blessings
Hi Rob,
Self development can be limiting. I like the way you expressed the difference. We do need to go to our inner core to make any lasting change. Self development to me, means to tweak what is already there. Self transformation is making the needed inner change, so that our life can truly improve.
Hi Cathy. YES, self-improvement is tweaking the surface personality … and self-transformation is going deep inside and recreating the incredible qualities that you could not see while caught up in the trappings of the world. We all breathe easier when we realize about ourselves – “There is so much more to me!” You’ve experienced that realization haven’t you. Blessings
I can’t help but feel a bit inadequate and resentful after reading this. I kind of feel like I’ve been going down the wrong road and just wasting my time. I’ve been taking every job finding tip and trick and trying to make it work for me. I always feel like there is something missing and what I’m seeing is they are all just a waste of time unless I’m really serious about changing my attitude and how I feel about myself etc. It’s like most of the time I’m going through the motions but I’m still the same old angry guy on the inside. I just don’t know how to make that jump from “improving” to “transforming.” I guess I figure a new job would mean a new start and then I’d be transformed to “happy” ramone (or at least “Got His Act Together Ramone
). I know I’ve got some work to do, but I’m a bit discouraged to just HOW MUCH of this inner work stuff I have ahead of me. Man, sometimes I think I’m just thinking waaayy too much! I mean, why can’t I just land a damn job already like a normal person. My head is my greatest enemy. Sometimes I wish I never learned all this self-improvement head-trip stuff and I would just get fed up and get my act together already.
Hey Friend…I have and idea for you. How about renaming yourself “ready Ramone”? ready for change, ready for good things, ready to learn, ready to transform to “Happy Ramone”. I admire your courage to be critiqued and still show up and I have to wonder that calling yourself “angry Ramone” doesn’t bring you struggles all on it’s own. Just a thought…Always enjoy today..
Hi Ramone. Your inner world determines your outer world. When you feel disappointed on the inside, you attract an outer world of disappointments. The fault lies in the very nature of how you are looking at things. As you continue to follow the life-lessons I share, say to yourself, “This is fascinating stuff.” Keep saying it until you begin to feel it … and then watch what happens! Blessings
Hi Rob,
I enjoyed your explanation on what the distinction is. I read self-improvement books myself but I have also put tips and techniques into practical application. In fact, I have been spending and continue to spend time looking into my own hangups and issues. There is no way I can truly share without some level of self-awareness.
You have said it beautifully and succinctly: “To see far, first be willing to look close.” Indeed!
Thanks for sharing another great post,
Evelyn
Hi Evelyn. You are an aware person. You allow your original cosmic nature to be your true authority. It shows. Esoteric understanding always subdues confused thinking. Nice job! Thank you
Hi rob,
This is good, “Only the daring choose self transformation because self-transformation requires valuing more light rather than crying over the darkness … valuing days without worries more than enjoying the drama of wailing out “poor me”… valuing the end of self-doubt rather than coming up with excuses when things aren’t working out … valuing living one’s own life rather than hoping someone else will give you the perfect action plan for perfect success.”
This is where i have found my transformation. Being myself and not trying to be something that i am not. I was made the way I am because I have my own purpose. To not fulfill my own purpose would be to deny my destinate.
Love your wisdom, you have hit a home run rob and thank you for sharing.
Blessings to you always,
Debbie
Hi Debbie. I love what you like about my blog. Your strength is revealed when you see the truth so clearly (as you do). No one can bar you from being yourself, can he (or she). You are a committed individual, which provides you with continual satisfying results. Thank you
Good day Rob,
For me, this lesson on the differences of self-transformation and improvement, was truly a fitting one for the transition that I’m experiencing in my life at the moment. On Thursday’s show, when I was finally able to log on, I was in the middle of having a extremely disruptive episode here on the home front, I was pleasantly shocked to hear, however, what you and Jk were discussing. I’ve had many moments recently where it seemed as if something bigger than myself, was using someone else to send me messages of confirmations – on those things I should know about my life, and life in general.
After a fiasco, showing me the lack of respect some people have for their neighbors, my partner and I decided to head up north to the mountains on Friday, and spent an very enjoyable four day weekend away from the city life; but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t wait to read this post.
For me personally, Rob, this has been a very important lesson for me to learn – it has been an ongoing process for me, over the last couple of years. Ironically, the incident that happened, that literally bought me to tears, you actually would make sense of, in your response to the answer I shared on the show.
As I continue to improve upon myself, the environment that surrounds me at the moment, continues to remind me of who I used to be, but mostly, it shows me how far I’ve come from breaking free of this once familiar territory of comfort.
Years ago, I would have never put as much as I’ve put into transforming myself. I wasn’t in possession of the teachings I’ve received, the experience I now have, or the drive and the desire to follow-up on whatever I want to bring into fruition. Today, because of self-transformation, I look beyond what once came natural to me for all my answers. I am open to those that don’t necessarily fit my idea of who they are supposed to be, but have learn to accept people for their presence, alone.
My favorite part of this lesson is found in the post. It’s where you said, “As you transform yourself, you break free of discouraging attitudes – you remember the existence of something within you that is never discouraged, never feels inferior, is never afraid, and never indebted to others.” This is a powerful lesson you shared with us here, my friend. OMG! The lesson has been written on the pages of my heart for safe-keeping; the quote on the other hand is going up on my “Window of I Am’s”, immediately!
Thank you for sharing your abundant wisdom with us, my friend. Another lesson, Loved.
Hi Deeone. You’ve had a challenging week. Contact with reality brings out the best or the worst in a person. These days, you insist that it brings out the best in you … and it does. Your task is to set out the welcome mat to the ‘unlimited, authentic you’ over and over again … and you do. You are a winner, Deeone. Thank you.
Hey Everyone. Ha. I laughed when I heard JK’s story about how he used to make “big” decisions by shooting basketballs and letting “fate” decide. I used to do the same thing! I would be shooting basketballs or throwing baseballs at a target and say sometihng like “Ok if I make this shot, then SHE does like me, if I miss it wasn’t meant to be!” Needless to say I kept shooting until I got the answer I wanted!
ha ha. I think I should start this practice again. The funny thing was I kept trying until I did get that “feeling” you talk about. In a weird way it turned uncertainties into a feeling of certainty. I think it is a good practice to learn to get that feeling for decisions large and small. Somethings we know for sure and they happen quick and fast. Other things we may have a lot of doubt, but that does not mean we shouldn’t persue them. Being a musician is a perfect example. There is a ton of doubt and fear that comes with that. But to pack it in and stand on the sidelines just because of that would be a grave error. All it takes is practice and repetition until we feel more and more sure in our “gut.” I think we can get to that feeling in anything we choose if we are serious about it. I used to use the basketballs now I just use rehearsals, practice and playing lots of crummy gigs to get my confidence up. It’s a matter of “transformation” for sure. To me self-improvment means developing a work ethic and healthy habits that will support our ultimate “transformation.” Thats what I do anyway. I am rigorous and disciplined about getting in my creative time. All of that contributes to my highest purpose. I see the results as I look back. My habits stay the same but my artistry improves. This, I believe is part of my ongoing evolution and transformation.
Wow John. Give you a podium and a microphone. You are hot. Sizzle! You have done a great job of isolating and examining what is important to you. This is very clear to me. Thank you for sharing.
I’ve been enjoying this whole series, Rob. It was good to hear a bit about your history. What I admire is that you were able to do all that and manage to stay on top and keep going. I bascially lucked out and made a bunch of money in the eighties and managed to piss through all of that. It was such a bizarre time in my life. all this money was coming in and it was more like a dream than reality. What you help see is that I was the same old, materialstic a-hole who was angry at the world. I was making very shallow improvements, thinking I was part of an elite group. My self-improvments at that time just meant a better, bigger watch and ridiculously expensive clothes, cars and on and on. Not one iota of “transformation” was taking place and I paid the price. In hindsight, I can see that hitting rock bottom was what I really needed to transform my BS. It’s a long process though. I go back and forth, but I hope to God I learned my lesson and continue on the straight and narrow of self-transformation. Thanks for all this great food for thought.
Hi Richard. When we refuse to participate in self-transformation, we do pay a grave price, indeed. Thank you for pointing this out. Awarenes of ‘not working on self-transformation’ leads to true strength, doesn’t it Richard. You are a stong person. Yes, you are. Thank you
Great job Rob. I find in my own experience that if I stay true to this call of self-transformation the road brings me to an increasing sense of the sheer underlying beauty and timelessness of life.
I can honestly say I’m happier and more fulfilled at 80 than I’ve ever been in my life. And it’s because, as I say, I’m becoming more conscious of my own timeless nature that doesn’t change, doesn’t need to change, never has changed and never will change.
Hi Christopher. 80! I love it. You have much wisdom to share. The wise way is the way of many endless delights, which is what you are experiencing these days. Tell us more. Thank you
This is a terrific article! I, too, have been vaguely unsatisfied with the self-improvement concept, but I had not identified the reason until I read this article about the distinction between improvement and transformation. Improvement suggests that something is defective, in need of improvement. The self judgment is built in. Transformation, however, finds no fault with the self, but moves beyond the self. Self transformation, in a way, is not really about “self” at all. This makes perfect sense to me. Thank you!
Hi Galen. You said it wonderfully.
Self-improvement is trying to improve a defective self (which is the false self that we put together in childhood moments of fear and pain).
Self-transformation is getting back to the truth – ‘we are wonderfully made, whole and complete … just as we are’.
Thank you for the clarity.
Hi Rob,
Excellent post my friend as usual. Yep, there is a big huge difference between self improvement and self transformation (which I always called “advanced self improvement.) I experienced “self transformation” a few times Rob. I remember around 2 years ago thinking to myself “What would I do if I have all the money in the world? How would I live my life?” I said to myself, “Each one of us is unique and has a purpose in life, so what is my purpose in life? Why am I here? I know I’m here to do something great…” Then I looked within myself for answers and found the answers. If I could do anything right now, then it would be traveling the world, mainly to the mediteranean (that is where I’m orginally from) and Europe. I also would spend more time with the ones I love. Then I asked myself, “what else? I want something deeper as I want to create and make a positive difference in the world.” I then said, I want to be in personal development to help others and help myself in the process. I said to myself, I would love to write a few articles about personal development and give them to some News station or television station and in return, I will be working and doing something that I love to do and at the same time, I want to achieve my financial goals. I remember, I came online and started doing research on everything that is related to personal development (success, mental power, concentration, visualization, law of attraction, motivation, etc…) more than 8 hours daily. I was determined to change my life once and for all. I took everything seriously and I started slowly applying what I learn into my life and I put for myself 3 goals:
1. Attract the woman of my dreams (achieved it)
2. Start my own business (achieved it)
3. Become wealthy (not yet)
I won’t mention the first one about attracting the woman of my dreams as I mentioned this example a lot, but I will mention the second one (starting my own business) I remember coming across a website that said, “if you want to become rich, you need to start your own business “like the owner of the website who makes over 40,000 a month”) I was like “this is exactly what I want. I want to start my own business. I went and bought my laptop and acted “as if” I’m a business man and did a research on internet marketing and everything that can help me with it. Created a few a products and the dream began. While my business keeps growing and making many more sales than I used to make when I first started it, I still haven’t achieved “all” of my finanical goals, not even close. However, having said that, I have great faith that just as I attracted the woman of my dreams, and just like I was able to start a business that I love, I have the potential to achieve my financial goals in time. Thanks for sharing my friend, great post
Hi Dia. Clearly a man who has no interest in self-transformation will not transform himself. But any man, like yourself, who sincerely and persistently seek to transform himself so he may accomplish his ambitions (own a great business & have lots of money), cannot be denied achieving his dreams. You’ve proven this with the woman you’ve attracted into your life. With this same confidence that brought the perfect mate to you – you can profitably ask questions to continue your self-rescue, and I (and other folks like me), will help you. Blessings
Yo What up robbi boy and the Mind Adventure wreckin crew?!!! Y’all have been Killing it! This shiz has got my pantis in a bundle – in good way! ☺ My problem is I’ve never had to transform nuthn about me cuz I’ve always been on TOP! Yo, you might think Im conceited or bragging but that’s the straight skinny TRUTH. Can you handle the TRUTH!!? HAHAHAHHA. ANYwizayyyy, it got me thinkin I got to step my game up and get on the transformation fast track! It’s a change for me becuz I’ve never had need to… ya know… all my moves are the right moves so why change? BUT now I’m ready. Why? cuz it’s lonely at the top yo. I got my world figured out and it just aint a challengne no more. Hookin up is like shootin fish in a barell. Chillin with my boys and leading my entourage is small time to me now. What’s next?? Check it, I’m coming after y’all. Yes the MIndadventure wreckin crew is gonna have new competition on the AUThOr scence!!! And Deeone is the dude that finally got me off my contented ass and ready to transform!! That’s what I like about that DUDE hes is just steppin up and up and up— no doubt. JKs more a family dude but I respect his drive. And Rob, you sez it best – rags to riches. If you can go from rags to riches I can go from RICHES to MO riCHES HAHAHAHHAHA. For real, I got book up my sleeve and something to say to the world…. You know what I’m talkin bout. I’m writing THE BOOK, The Great AMErIcan BOOK on HOOKIN up and straight up bein the COCK of the block HAHAHAHAH!!! I’ve typin away like a maniac and gonna get this shiz published NIIIIICE!!!!!! Yo HOLLA. Let me know if you want a piece of this action it’s a gonna be HUUUUGE>
Hi Magic. You are on some fast track. That is clear. If it is the self-transformation fast track that you intend to hop on – watch out world … we have a new socrates about to be born! I like that Deeone is influencing you in a positive way, Magic. The greatest tragedy is when someone ‘already knows all there is to know about himself’. This is a tragedy because it ‘just ain’t so’. Thank you
Man, magic Marc, that’s a HUGE compliment, man! Thank you! I’m truly humbled by your kind thoughts, bro. You say you want to write a book, eh – Well, I say go for it! Put the pen to paper or fingers to keys (however, you plan to write it), and take that leap, man. Keep us posted with the progress, too. I want to be rooting for you all the way. Cheers buddy!
Hi Dia. Clearly a man who has no interest in self-transformation will not transform himself. But any man, like yourself, who sincerely and persistently seek to transform himself so he may accomplish his ambitions (own a great business & have lots of money), cannot be denied achieving his dreams. You’ve proven this with the woman you’ve attracted into your life. With this same confidence that brought the perfect mate to you – you can profitably ask questions to continue your self-rescue, and I (and other folks like me), will help you. Blessings
Hi Rob. Where I have chosen the highway in my life was when I finally had to have a divorce. It was the hardest thing and the lowest low I’ve ever felt. It was very depressing and I felt a slew of emotions like embarrassment, guilt and so on. But even though I felt miserable, I knew it was the best thing I could do. I think it’s important for people to realize that “transformation” is probably going to be pretty painful and uncomfortable. I don’t think there is a way around it. On the other hand is seems to me that self-improvement feels good and is nice little fix. Kind of like the way a positive affirmation works. I still love my quotes and affirmations, but Im not going to pretend they are about serious change. You talked about your own discomfort (and how you wanted to puke!
) I think that says volumes about what real change takes. My advice to anyone listening to me is if you are serious about transforming, get ready to be really uncomfortable… and love that feeling! 
Hi Joan. I like that you say that great change requires puking (and that you got that from me). That is beautiful! Always love your favorite quotes and affirmations, Joan. These are great vitamin pills for the mind. And, they are not the answer to the serious changes that you desire to make. Thank you for pointing this out. Blessings
This is one I struggle with a lot in my own life. This has been a great challenge for me as I work from home, but taking this job has really helped me to stop putting things off and take control of my life. The feeling after completing a task you would normally put off is a great high – and certainly a much healthier one than some of the other highs in our lives. When you put something off, you are putting yourself into time-debt. You have to pay that debt back and almost always you end up having to do that at the most inconvenient time. By putting off writing an article for the site, for example, I end up having to write one at 7 at night when I would rather be watching a movie and having a drink! Your life will become so much more organized if you follow this rule.
Hi. “The feeling after completing a task you would normally put off is a great high – and certainly a much healthier one than some of the other highs in our lives.” Nice noticement. Start by noticing this ‘great high’ is not the presence of an exciting feeling, but the absence of a painful feeling that comes with feeling anxious about getting something done. Other highs, that are cheaper highs, include the presence of an exciting feeling (which is a cheap feeling that comes and goes). Ponder this statement – it holds a pearl of great value. Thank you for joining in.
Hello Rob
I’m excited about tonight’s show. Can’t wait to hear what’s in store for the discussion.
I enjoyed the subject of this blog post. It opened me up to a reality that I wasn’t consciously aware of. I enjoy self improvement books, a lot, but I’ve found that they only do so much for me.
For me, self improvement is easy; it’s passive and allows me to give half effort, but still seemingly make some progress (although often temporary), or at least trick myself to believe that I’ve made progress.
Self transformation, on the other hand, requires total accountability, requires hard work, rigorous determination and the many instances of feeling out of control because the path is often personally-uncharted. It can be scary at moments.
When I feel myself resist the transformation that I’m currently living, I ask myself simple questions; life-logical questions that offer two outcomes. For instance, on days when I feel like I’m working harder than I would like; and I want to mentally take the day off, I ask if my competitors are taking mental breaks and giving in to the temptation to be lazy. I answer that they probably are, and then I say “and that’s why we won’t be competitors for long, because I’m trying to reach another level…so I can’t allow lazy to be within me.”
I’ve shared this technique with a few folks Rob and they think it’s a bit weird…but that’s fine, because it really works for me. It focuses me back on the prize of growing as a person, so that I can continue to grow in other areas of my life. It reminds me of the transformation that I’m living within and allows me to recommit to it, when the other option is to un-commit to it.
Thank you for this great lesson Rob.
Have a great day.
Hi Jk. I will see you in an hour. Well, actually not ‘see you’, but be with you on the blog talk-radio show. You are beginning to sound like me Jk when I am speaking the truth. We all sound alike when we speak the truth, and most folks think it sounds weird because they are not used to the truth. It is really quite fantastic – man fears the very truth he seeks! Blessings
Great Blog! Very informative, I appreciate all the information that you just shared with me very much and I also bookmarked this on delicious.
Hi Greg. Thank you for dropping in. Our job is to let reality replace imagination, isn’t it. That’s what I hope to do (as do you – I imagine). Thank you