“If it ain’t practical it ain’t spiritual” and this Dear Abbey session will show you exactly what that means! You can listen to the WROAR Radio broadcast of “Question Everything” with co-hosts JK and Deeone below.
Right results comes from wrong action – success begins with error.
This is an interesting truth – right results comes from wrong action. Certainly we all agree that results are a consequence of action. How are you to achieve your dreams in life if you sit on your duff and do nothing? Did you know, though, that right results are a consequence of wrong action that has been corrected?
If you intend to experience your lofty abstractions in the real world, it is imperative that you make miss-takes. Every lofty goal achieved begins with an error that needs correcting. When you learned to walk, were you up jogging on the first try? When you learned to talk, were you saying, “momma and dada” immediately? What about “antidisestablishmentarianism” – how many mistakes did you make before you could say that? When you learned to read and when you learned to write – you were on a continual path of ‘course correction’ … right?
Achieving excellence with anything new requires having breakthroughs – which is a product of continual correction – re-taking your miss-takes by refining your behavior until you finally celebrated a successful take.
When a commercial airliner leaves Boston for Seattle, it is off course 99% of the time. Fortunately, it has a navigational system that is constantly noticing the mistakes, and calling for corrections … and the auto-pilot complies. (Altitude is too high … correct. Altitude too low … correct. Dutch rolling to the left … correct. Dutch rolling to the right … correct. Veering too far east … correct. Veering too far west … correct. Going too slow … correct. Going too fast … correct). And before you know it – there you are at the Seattle airport ten minutes ahead of time.
Human beings didn’t put a man on the moon without a lot of corrected action; didn’t invent a heavier-than-air flying machine without a lot of corrected action; didn’t invent a horseless buggy without a lot of corrected action; didn’t invent the bow and arrow without a lot of corrected action. Open one small window of your mind to correction, and you will be basking in growth-stimulating sunshine.
Right results comes from wrong action that is corrected again and again. Without correction we do not grow in wisdom, we do not develop our talents, we do not access our unrealized potential.
The secret to success is being willing to look foolish, to be corrected, to be wrong, and take none of it personally. You can’t make necessary corrections when you’re busy protecting your fragile ego.
When you set your sight on excellence rather than mediocrity, you don’t care if you look foolish along the journey. It’s the final outcome that you value. True guidance comes to those who get bored with achieving mediocrity in order to avoid looking foolish.
Folks who become masters of their trade, are folks who are too busy doing what they don’t know how to do. They see their miss-takes as adventures in learning. They are willing to make miss-takes in order to learn how to refine what they are doing.
Rightness rushes in to fill the space when you are willing to learn from the wrongness. Choose to grow from your errors, stick to that choice, and a whole new world opens to you. Do you like this idea? Then choose to grow; begin now making miss-takes.
Please be generous; offer a comment that offers an insight, ask a question, or further the conversation. That is how we all learn and grow, isn’t it? Also, when you comment, I know you are alive and well.
Thank you, and blessings
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/wroar/
On a side note: If you are in Boston, you cannot afford to miss our next Mind Adventure Meetup. Space is very limited. More info here.
“Best Comment of the Week.” This weeks best comments come from Roger Pascal and SaltySailorMan. Thank you for your heartfelt sharing. See their comments here. Illustrations by nick
Whoa ho! That was heavy duty stuff. That’s some rubber meets the road talk last night. I hear Pat’s dilema and I see where I am looking for my own sure fire way to make it. I keep thinking there must be a formula to get into one of these marketing firms. Like the right books to read or the right degree to have. But the further I get into it the more I see that that it just has to happen in my own kind of weird special way. Ijust have tob e 1001% commotted!
I’m sure I won’t see it coming they way I originally thought. I used to imagine that I’d go to an interview and walk out the door shaking hands with a big smile and a job offer! There is no one right way to do anything, but I really really realllly believe it has to happen. I’ve read enough job searching and networking books etc. but it is totaly up to me to make it work in my life. By calling Pat out and questioning everything I really felt like you were telling me to question everything. Whew! Your not alone Pat. I ahve fears about moving away from awesome friends and family. I’m even a little scared to see if I can be the marketing dynamo I think I could be. We all have our fears pat. But if it truly is your dream you have no choice! 
Thats the way I feel now, I have to go for it. We are all in this together so lets support each other in our unlimitedness!! (I know I need it!) 
Nice response to the blog talk-show broadcast last Thursday, Kara. You Offer a great bit of wisdom to the matter. Nietzsche said that he have to look away from ourselves in order to see many things. This is what you are noticing with this comment. I like it. Thank you
Rob, Deeone and JK – Beautifully done show. It actually pained me to listen to Pat’s letter. It’s true – there is no one to “tell you what to do”, there is no “one right way” except the one for you to find within. It’s funny, when I listen to you all I can feel what enormous growth is going on, especially with Deeone who gave an incredibly thoughtful response. He is really walking his road right now and it’s lovely to see. Rob, it’s interesting that I’ve heard some version of “reality doesn’t lie” at least 3 times this week. I am staring my reality in the face and it does not currently match up in any way with what I am doing or working toward, which continually surprises me. Obviously somewhere in here is a major overdue course correction. Hopefully an epiphany or breakthrough of some kind as well. Thanks to you all for your efforts and willingness.
Hi Julie. thank you for noticing Deeone’s quantum leaps in growth. Do you ever look at yourself when you offer others some tips? Deeone does this all of the time, which is what makes him so popular on the show. Thank you.
Alive and well, my friend.
What I loved most about the show and the post this week, they both took the sting, often associated with failing and mistakes. As you may be able to imagine, I’m constantly making mistakes; but I’m not afraid to fail forward. I’m learning to do as Jk told Pat, to keep it simple. I know that improvement is only going to come through constant re-takes on each miss-takes. I would love to be a a life guru – right now, at this very moment – but that’s not how that works, is it? There’s so many adventures that I have left to explore, and each adventure is going to bring me closer and closer to where I need to be.
The fact is, my mistakes and failures don’t define me as a person, they do however give me experience in that area. You want to know something else about me, Rob – I’ve talked myself out of doing what I’m doing right now for far too long. Now that I’m actually doing it, I refuse to let it slip away easily. If it slips, I will be damned near death, mangled, and beaten when it leaves.
Another grand slam, my friend. You knocked it out of the park!
Hi Deeone. You are becoming a star on our blog talk-show radio program because you do not see yourself as faultless, you are not annoyed by the ‘supposed defects’ of others. In fact, you acknowledge openly that you can identify with your neighbor’s weaknesses, and you offer advice only if it is advice that has helped you. This is apparent in everything you say on the show these days. Thank you
You’re very welcome… however, I feel I owe you the thanks, Rob.
I am truly grateful for this awesome opportunity, my friend! Each show has revealed a new way of doing things for me, than I’d ever known before – and they have also had me quite “busy doing things I don’t know how to do.” (Loved that, BTW) Thanks to your readers for their encouraging words, as well. I’m truly humbled for them sharing such kind words concerning my contribution to the show.
Cheers!
I just think Pat is bored. That’s kind of what happened to me. It was like alright, I got my degree, graduated at the top of my class and basically landed the dream job I was so focused on in school. Then all of a sudden it was like, now what? All that stuff came easy. I looked at what was missing and came up with a bunch of things society thinks I should be doing. For me that meant getting a girl friend, get married and settle down. I think the big reason I’ve been so unsuccessful with that is simply because I’m not all that committed. Now, (after last week) I’ve shifted my focus. I still think it’s a big part of life, but it is not the center of my life. I’ve just decided to have fun and go with the flow. I’m going to crash and burn and make plenty of mistakes along the way, but I refuse to make “having a good girl” the center of my life. No, my true calling and true passion is the work I do. And yes, I am an expert in that field and make plenty of miss-takes. Those mistakes don’t slow me down or make me even skip a beat. They are just necessary to get where I am going. If I don’t care about something, I let the miss-takes throw me off. Like when I played lacrosse in high school. I sucked. I could have trained harder to improve, but I just wasn’t passionate. That was another thing I thought I “should’ be doing, rather than something I love doing.
Hi Alan. Perhaps we all get bored. Hmmm. Perhaps that, right there, is worthy of our attention. Are we too smart for our own britches? Do we get bored, but then called it something else? You are really beginning to catch onto this stuff, aren’t you, Alan. What do I suppose will satisfy the soul, that will not have me bored?” Now this is a great question to ponder, isn’t it Alan. Thank you
Whenever I get stuck, one of the best things I can do is, “make it work, then make it right.”
Instead of hopping over the learning loop, I’ve learned to embrace the learning loop as I go … it’s part of building a firm foundation, and the insights and experience add up over time.
Hi J.D. “Embrace the learning loop.” Great tip. People who embrace the ‘learning loop’, not only liberate themselves from “poor me;” they also fill others with enthusiasm when it is their time to embrace the ‘learning loop’. NICE! Thank you
Hey brother man! Pats a brave soul for hanging his life out there like that. He keeps it real so he is my kind of dude. I used to be a stoner because I thought I was lifting that ‘veil of reality’ but the reality was I was distracting myself from the real work in life. I finally figured out if I’m going to walk my talk, I’ve got to get deep with myself. I had to question if I wanted to be high on life or just plain dumb high. The temptation is still there, but what I have at stake is much more important. To me it my commitment to being a shining example of love. What I care most about is living every day as mindfully as I can. I figure some people can be rockett scientists, athletes or entrepreneurs … but I want to be a master of living fully. If I’m committed to that, that means I have to live naked, open and raw, not hidden in cloud of delusion
Wow Rus. I am very impressed with your comment. YES, Pat is willing to expose his way of seeing things so that we may all learn. What a generous spirit. Without folks of his courage, we would not grow. And, Rus, I love what you’ve offered here. What could one say to a person who wishes to know why he behaves as he does? Read Rus’s comment (here). Thank you
Hi Robert. You know sailing is just like that airline pilot. When I get you out on the water I’ll show YOU how to jibe and tack! I think achieving excellence is usually just a matter of time. I only an expert sailor because I’ve been doing it so damn long! Even if someone is a natural athlete, you bet your bippy, if they are going to make it as an expert they have to put in the time. The idea of natural talent is only a beginning. If someone with natural talent does not spend thousands of hours honing their skills, they will fall by the wayside. It’s the basketball player, taking 1,000 free throws a day and practicing long after dark in the park. It’s important to know what we love and what we love doing. I think persistance and practice come quite naturally when we know what we want. I never think of the thousands of hours I’ve put into sailing (not including the thousands painting, sanding, polishing and scraping in the spring!). I don’t think people get discouraged with mistakes and failures when they truly know what they are up to.
Hey Salty. You have become quite the life coach. Your advice and tips are sound. What could I say to a person who wishes to understand why he behaves as he does? I could say, “Ask Salty.” Thank you
Hello Rob,
Let me start off by stating that I’ve made a new commitment in life to spend more time on things that are important to me. I do a great job of this at home. With rare exception, I participate in all of my kids extra curricular activities, school functions, sporting events, homework assistance and of course their daily lives. Being a father, that’s my number one priority in life.
Since starting my business, all of the time I had left in my week outside of work and family time has been totally filled with client work; which I enjoy. What I don’t enjoy is the loss of balance that I allowed to take place. Purposely I’ve allowed my blog Hustler’s Notebook to fade, as I work in the background to develop the next-gen version. However, I’ve also allowed some of the activities that I loved so much to take a dive as well; the big one is commenting on this site. In months previous, prior to allowing my “self proclaimed” busy schedule to undo my balance and complicate the simplicity that I seek in life, I used to get so much fulfillment from reading your blog posts each week, often more than once, then commenting on how it impacted me. I loved how it allowed me to open up. And I always sought your reply to my comments, to understand if my comprehension of what you wrote was on par with the lesson and for your additional words of wisdom.
Well, I’ve made the commitment to re-spark that layer of fulfillment in my life. To be back here at Mind Adventure, learning and commenting around the many others that find your teachings to be as life-impacting as I do.
Having you as a mentor has changed my life. It’s helped me see potential in myself that I once “thought or hoped” I had, to “knowing” that have. Thank you.
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In response to this blog post…
It reminded me totally of my new commitment. I had developed a system of learning powerful lessons on a weekly basis, conversing about those lessons, and feeling fulfilled, empowered and ready to take things on. Heck, it was your Atomic Action post changed my approach to my business (which was in it’s infancy at the time), and allowed me to grow double and then triple its revenue rapidly, by following your advice…advice not necessarily based on business practices, but life practices.
My wrong action was eliminating an area of fulfillment in my life. This is/was one of those areas. If my life is a pie-chart, you/ Mind Adventure has a slice of ownership. When I don’t get that chunk of fulfillment, I don’t feel balanced. I don’t feel at 100%. I know this because I’ve experienced. I know this because right now as I write this, I feel totally fulfilled, inspired and empowered to win in life. Taking that wrong action, inspired right results–which for me, in this case is a level of fulfillment, that flows over to other areas of my life by being back here commenting to your blog posts.
Where I’m from, if anyone makes it “out”, there are people yelling and screaming “don’t for get where you come from”. Some mean this in a manner to remain humble–which is a positive. I always remember where I come from because it keeps me humble. When I forget, I get off track, I loose my balance.
Well, in a way, this is where I come from. Not physically, but mentally. This is the place I learned that I was the master of me, that my potential was truly unlimited. This place has made me a better father, husband, member of my community, business owner…person. I can’t even describe how great it feels to have that slice of life-fulfillment filled again. I can’t forget where I come from. My wrong action, and the imbalance it caused has led me to self-correction…coming back and regaining this piece of fulfillment, which is a result I’ve been greatly needing.
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Rob–thank you for all that you do for us. And personally, I thank you for what you’ve done and continue to do for me.
Blessings
-Jk
Hi Jk. I love your challenging and magnificent aims and aspirations. For the sake of your aspirations, you have been given the ability to elevate your consciousness above most folks of your age. You have given yourself an understanding of yourself that enables you to see what you ‘must will’ of yourself, and what you must do to fulfill on your will.
It is clear to me that you are willing to do whatever it takes to have all of your values in the right place within you. When your values are all in the right place, you are in balance with the whole work of the universe.
You’ve gone the extra mile to give a further response to pat. you do not speak and act as if you are asleep to your highest aim – to help others. Thank you
To Pat…
I thought about your comment over the weekend and I just wanted to add a little more to what I shared over the show…
Tim Ferris teaches in a practical tone. I understand that you like/respect him for that–as I do. One-side of his advice is actionable, and easily relate-able because of it’s simplicity. But on the other hand, it’s not practical to work 4 hours per week and start/run a restaurants & grill…to me. One thing I question “for you” is if Tim Ferris’ direction is right for your dream. That’s just a thought that continues to fire in my mind. One thing I believe, totally, is that you can accomplish whatever you want to accomplish. The power within you is amazing, my friend.
Take care
Hi Rob. This is an excellent message, not only for adults but for children. As you know, I’m a dad to a wonderful 7-year-old girl. Teaching her the importance of making mistakes has helped reinforce the message for me. They say one of the best ways to learn is to teach, right? I thought the audience would enjoy this perspective, too: The best baseball players in the world fail seven times out of ten. A good professional hitter can make several mistakes and adjustments during just one at-bat in order to succeed (hitting safely). Multiply that by 3-4 at-bats per game and 600 at-bats a season, and you’ve got a lot of mistakes. For a bit of humor, when I was in Little League, failure meant a few thrown bats and helmets — more mistakes to learn from, I guess. Thanks, Rob.
Hi Mike. I love your addition to my blog. Your example offers greater depth to the lesson. I believe that it is correct to say that you have a unique flair of your own. Continue to develop it, and it will reward you well. Blessings
I love the way you talk about mistakes, Rob. I can’t hear that stuff enough. You know me, I’ve made plenty of “wrong actions.” I’ve learned that it’s all in that kind of “conversion rate.” We can get fed up with our wrong actions and throw in the towel or convert those failures into lessons. I know for myself that when I’ve been truly committed to something, I don’t really even think in terms of giving up. It’s those rare (for me) moments where I just know I have to make it work. It’s like knowing you have the love or your life – that was when I met my wife. Whenever my wife and I have had our ups and downs, no matter how bad, the thought of giving up on our marriage does not exist. I would tell Pat to look at areas of his life he has really been committed to. I’m sure there must be a certain feeling of certainty that he already knows.
Again, Roger, you impress me with your understanding of human nature. Many folks listen to and receive my suggestions on a shallow mental plane, but do not let them absorb deep into their subconscious. thus, their lives still resemble the reactive-robot that they created themselves to be yesterday. You have done wonders with this work. Thank you
Good stuff Rob. Yes, yes I “mastered my trade” precisely because I had NO IDEA what I was doing when I started!
There is something about that “ignorance is bliss” saying. On a practical level, I had no business getting into business! A girl from Wisconsin who made her trade in luxury yachting. Who would have thunk it? 
There is no way to gain the wisdom needed to succeed in anything than to just start doing it. I say, be dumb and start. I get all these interns in my office who are too scared to make a mistake at first. They sit there twiddling their thumbs, because they don’t want find out that their business education hasn’t taught them a thing about the real world. No one teaches them how to answer phones and fedex a package at Bentley or Harvard. It’s all those little things you will never learn in a classroom that will make or break a true entrepreneur. Love the entrepreneurial spirit on you panel, btw. 
Wow, Carol Anne, you are hot today (with this comment). When a challenge begins within herself, a woman is able to prove that she is worth something. This is what you do, again and again. thank you.
I thought you all had some sound advice for Pat. It’s a tough one. I think we all want there to be a formula for success but it just takes persevering. The reality is his bar and grill just might be a bust. There are certainly no guarantees out there. But if we wait for a sure thing than all we will do is keep on waiting. I remember when I had thoughts of starting a band and getting involved seriously in the music scene. It really just was a series of small breakthroughs that helped build my confidence. From doing cover songs to doing my own songs was a big step for me. And there are thousands of “big” steps along the way, and I’m sure a thousand more to come. I’m not looking for a lucky break. i’m interested in putting in the ‘hard yards’ of practice and persistence. Now that I’ve been at and consider myself a musician, I might be a bit disappointed if someone like “American Idol” just gifted me a record deal. I want my music to stand on its own. To that it has go through the process. In art and music it all comes back to process. For guys like Pat, if being a restauranteur is your passion, I just don’t think you can skip the process. It’s the most beautiful part! If you head right for success and come out smelling like a rose you’ll just get bored and will need your scotch at the end of the day anyway!
Hi John. You revealed a great process that you’ve gone through. There is the EVENT. There is the FAILURE. There is the ENDURANCE. There is the VICTORY. Your desires of starting a band, and that series of small breakthroughs – the ENDURANCE. Thank you
Hi Rob, I have a hard time putting myself in Pat’s shoes in some ways. I was very focused on my career and ambitions from very early on. My career and family were very balanced from the beginning. When we were starting out it was hardscrabble living for everyone. In fact, on my honeymoon I told my blushing bride (and new wife) that I would do the cooking… When I opened up a can of beans in our drafty apartment, lets just say, she thought she had made a BIG mistake. Ha ha. But I knew we had a long way to go and short time to get there and was going to do whatever it took to make it all work. And I did. Why? Precisely what you talk about here on the blog. I was too damn stupid to know how stupid I was. But I will tell, Pat, there is no substitute for a fire in the belly. When that furnace is burning you can throw anything in there and it becomes fuel. When your furnace is smoldering anything that goes in can snuff you out. The question is do you (more importantly do I) want to be snuffed out, or do we want to burn, burn, burn like a bonfire? I dont know about pat, but I still want to light up the world. I think Pat did once in his own way, and now he is looking to do it again, no? Because that is where I am with my life. I’ve seen my colleagues who have retired and withered away to nothing. That’s not where I am headed. I’m with you Pat. I’m ready for my next great endeavor.
There is no substitute for ‘fire in the belly’, is there Georgie. You wrote well with this comment. It feels like you unhooked yourself from a truck that has been dragging you over bumpy ground. You can now put in the ‘hard yards’ of progress (of which you speak), and know it is going to bring you the VICTORY you aspire to achieve. Thank you.
Weeell hello there my trio of gurus! I am honored, shocked and appalled all at the same time!
It was a tough pill to swallow, but you know what they say, you “can’t keep a good man down.” I’m not discouraged at all by the brackish of wisdom that y’all offered up. In fact, I’m more motivated than ever. Not only to prove the naysayers wrong, but to prove it to myself. “Am I committed” ? That’s a hell of a good question. I’ve done well for myself because I have questioned everything. I’ve come from a hard row of my own and to be where I am today took a lot of chutzpah. I won’t get into to it too much here, because we all have our cross to bear. The point is I come around here (and tim ferris’s blog) because you can’t keep me down. And, No. I’m very serious when I talk about having a nice scotch. If you knew from where I came you would say I got off easy being a mild alcohlic. Lets just say it could have been a lot worse. I do feel you insulted my intelligence just a little bit with your generic response. If I thought my comments here would be garnering so much attention I don’t think I would have said so much. (my wife wants to me to layoff btw, but I felt I needed to respond). I get that there is no single way to do it and ultimately I have to make it happen. I would have appreciated your personal story as opposed to the general self help jargon about helping yourself etc. I get that you have to say something that applies to your whole audience, but if you are going to single me out, I think I would have liked to here how you made it happen personally. I especially appreciate JK’s response. Yes. you are quite right. Part of me just wants to know exactly what to do. Maybe that’s why “gurus” like Tim or Tony Robbeson have so many followers. I’ve scratched the surface and am looking for something deeper. My family is still number one. I love your perspective but if I’m going to question everything, I have to do what gets me to sleep at night (w out the help of a McAllan 15 
). If I have to be conservative right now, it is what feels right. It’s just a feeling. I appreciate the tips, but I’m not rushing into anything that could have my kids living in card board boxes. I think that is practical. If anything I think Y’all have truly inspired me to think for myself… regardless of your advice… I think it is best for me to do my homework, and do what is best for my family. And only I know what that means. Thanks for the tips and … FYOU for the tips! 
ha.
Hi Pat. My victorious efforts toward newness in business always begin with ‘Endurance of Disturbances’. Nothing goes as I hoped, at first. But I never feel like a passenger on a runaway train any more. Your Endurance to ‘continue to look deeper’ says wonders about you. PREFER THE DISTURBING SITUATION OVER THE COMFORTABLE ONE – FOR IN THE DISTURBANCE YOU CAN LEARN SOMETHING. That is what I see you doing, Pat. Thank you
Oh snap! You handed it to Pat this week! I agree with all you. Man;s got to get real. You know what they say, you gots to SHIZ or gett off the pot!!! AHAHHAHAH. But you know me, I’m always dropping bombs and deuces like a nuclear APOCALYPSE!!!! Hey, but I’m all about action and get the f out the way. Pats firs prob is he’s got a big ass FAM to worry about. that s why you gots to stay free, clear and clean of that domesticity. I’m out there with no albotrosses, sea anchors, ded weight, obligations to no one but MAGIC ME! I think thats what it takes. Life is a chess game and if you aint lookin ahead 5, 10, 20 years down the road you just a wealk as pawn thats gonna get his ass checked by life. Yo, check it. Dudes like pat have already been checked and re-checked but they DO bounce back. They’ll never bounce all the way back, but the ALL-StArs always apprecitat their scrappy put-bull do whatever the F it takes attitude. It’s like the NBA… you got your Lebrons and Kobes but every once in a while A RoNDO comes on the scence and just hangs on like a mad ass PIt BULL!!! We all no those are the hardest ones to shake. Thats why I ReSPECT PAT. He aint backing DOwn and sooner or latter the big MOONEY all-stars (u & ME ROBBO) gots to pay attention! or else these little dudes will be breaking our ankles and blowin up the ESPN top ten!!!
Hi Magic. I like your motivational speech. You have your own style. When you are ready, so many answers come, don’t they, Magic. Thank you for sharing the answers you receive from ‘the deep’. Blessings
I guess I need to get busy and start making a bunch more mistakes then
One of the things that I’ve come to learn is that it’s okay to make mistakes. That same plane that made all those course corrections would not have been able to make those corrections sitting at the terminal in Boston. It’s only by moving that the plane can make the minor corrections it needs to take along the way to get to where it needs to go.
Thanks for sharing, Rob!
Hi Grady. “Getting busy and making a bunch more miss-takes.” I like that! It leads to surprising discoveries. Everyone is eligible to succeed, aren’t they, Grady. Getting busy and making more mistakes promotes success. Thank you
I guess its just the way of the world. There is just no getting around all the mistakes and wrong action we have to go through to grow. I’m such an extremist that I find it hard to find a kind of middle way. Every time I think I have things figured out, all of a sudden I feel like I don’t know a thing. I go gung-ho on the newest answer or thing that is going to fix everything and get so myopic that I neglect other areas of life. The hard part for me is learning this lesson. I understand that if you are building a Rocket you can scientifically make adjustments to get it right. But if you are working on yourself it so hard to be objective and scientific. I just keep repeating the same pattern of extremes, but for different things. Like when I took up Yoga, I thought it was the ultimate answer to all my problems until I got so extreme I started pulling muscles! When I went vegan I went so extreme I became a bit malnourished (not to mention I annoy friends and family with my preachiness.) What I have to work on is being scientific, detached and objective about myself… if I don’t then I end up missing the lesson of the miss-take and do it all over again!
I love your examples of being too extreme when taking a new course of action, Alicia. You come face to face with the fact that you are not a dictator who can demand things work out as you want them to. Thank you for that tip. Blessings
When my oldest was in first grade she had a horrible time learning to read and they told me she would never be able to spell….they never focused on her genius in math at all. She was so disappointed that she could not read because her grand mother promised her she would.
I just went to task at teaching her to read and write, by working on writing first…penmanship…typing lessons, and piano. She could read the notes – a clue…
I am sure she reads a book a week now – loves science fiction – and I have just returned from San Francisco and seeing this child receive the Distinguished Master’s Thesis award and praise for her ability to write.
My mistake was allowing the school district to put her in a program where she was not being considered for college….I did send her to Denmark for a year and she took her classes in Danish and passed with honors….she is driven to figure things out…what a skill…
I just heard a writer tell a 4th grade class that when he gets rejected he feels inspired because he has the best job/career on the planet…
I am reminded of Brene Brown’s work on Perfectionism from this post
Thank you for sharing this here
Hi Patricia. WOW! I love what you have shared here. Whatever expands the false sense of your child’s self is harmful. Whatever reduces it is beneficial. you knew this deep in your heart, and you did what it took to help your child reduce the false sense of herself. What a beautiful gift you gave her. Thank you. Thank you.
Hey there Rob. I’m loving the view points on the ROAR radio. I hafta say that Deeone always tugs my heart strings. Between you three it really goes “practical” to “Spiritual”. So, keep it up. Yes, yes. I am having a miss-take filled week. I’ve had so many missteps I have had to laugh. the good news is I’m not discouraged and thrown off. I’m much more relaxed. I’m accepting my own mood swings and ups and downs. Yeah, I’d rather have a string of good weeks instead of one crummy and one good. Which seems to be my pattern. But maintaining a the wider perspective everyone here has been beating into my brain, has kept my lows “medium” low. I’d say thats self-improvement!
Hi Ramone. life gives all of us so many things to do. It is wise to place first things first, and the first thing to do is seek first accept your mood swings and the ups and downs. With this acceptance comes the power to change what needs changing. I like your stuff. Thank you.