September 30th, 2011 by rob white
This is a big one.
Let’s talk about FEAR.
However, we cannot discuss FEAR without talking about BRAVERY.
Let’s get one thing straight, right now. Everyone starts out the same. YES, everyone starts out the same: BRAVE people and SCARED people both hear the howls of FEAR when adventuring into unknown territory.
Student: So, what is the difference between a SCARED person and a BRAVE person?
Teacher: The difference is that the SCARED person listens to the howling fear and scampers back to his comfort zone … while the BRAVE person listens to the howling fear and advances into the unknown.
Take a moment and read the above student / teacher interaction again, please.
Some folks are scared in the money domain, some are scared of relationships, and some are simply scared of life in general. They are always scampering back to their comfort zone (the dead zone).
The BRAVE person advances in spite of the fear. They do what it takes to succeed in the end.
The SCARED retreat in the face of fear. They quit before they try, or they quit after one try.
Student: So, what is fearlessness?
Teacher: Fearlessness occurs after a person is BRAVE a number of times. Eventually the fear has no effect on him any longer, and so he is fearless … he no longer needs to be BRAVE.
BRAVERY requires fear.
If one is fearless in some domain of life, then he does not need to be BRAVE to take risks in that domain of life … be it the money domain, the love domain, business domain …. Etc.
Some folks are fearless in the money domain.
Some folks are fearless in the relationship domain.
This means that the person was BRAVE with his action so many times that now FEAR no longer has any effect on him in that domain … he (She) just keeps on going!
Student: What does it take to be BRAVE?
Teacher: Being BRAVE requires using the heart-mind; it requires acting from the heart.
When a person acts from the head-mind (not heart-mind), he refers to a ‘logic of safety’. The head-mind has a comfort zone, and it comes up with logical reasons why you’ll lose if you venture into the unknown. Head-mind has thousands of memories of failures, and uses them as references to stop you from advancing.
HEAD-MIND IS THE PAST …. it refers to the dead past. It cannot look into the future.
HEART-MIND IS THE FUTURE … it loves possibilities … it loves the daring adventures of the wide open sea.
Small children live from the heart-mind. They love thinking of the possibilities in the future. “I want to be a fireman.” “NO, I want to be an astronaut.” “NO, I want to be a rodeo wild-bull rider.” Until the child creates a head-mind, and fills it with 60,000 fearful NO’s … the child is fearless … he (she) doesn’t need BRAVERY.
WOW, there is a lot here. I could go on. But this is a blog, not a book.
How does this work in your life?
In what domains do you act from the heart-mind?
In what parts of your life do you act with BRAVERY?
Is it with money?
Is it with love?
Is it in business?
Is it with athletic endeavors?
Is it with adventurous travel?
You name it ___________________
In what domains do you act from the head-mind?
In what part of your life are you scared of advancing?
Is it with money?
Is it with love?
Is it in business?
Is it with athletic endeavors?
Is it with adventurous travel?
You name it?
Please read this blog again and ask yourself … where, in my life do I love to move into the unknown … where do I act from my heart-mind? Anywhere?
Are you afraid of life in general?
Are you willing to gamble?
Where do you always play it safe?
Please share. You help the rest of us understand the general nature of the human condition when you share? Thank you for that gift.
Blessings
“Best Comment of the Week.” This weeks best comments come from Grady Pruitt of Success Building Blocks and OluwaRotimi Adesina. Thank you both for your honest, heartfelt sharing. See their comments here.
Illustrations by nick
Hey Rob,
I really enjoyed this post about fear. It takes some trust to learn to go with the heart because all of us at one time or another as experienced heart ache.
I have a spiritual friend that told me whenever I want to achieve something use operate from the heart and not the head. She said that creation starts in there.
Hi Justin. The heart looks into the future. That is where creation lies. The mind is filled with dead memories of the past; it lives in the grave yard of dead memories. Nothing new comes from the mind. Thanks for the addition to the blog. blessings
FEAR for me equals Feeling Excited And Reluctant. There’s a desire there, a hope, a want, but to get to that other side a barrier shows itself in mental, emotional or self-actualising blocks. So fear is good as it’s only a stumbling block between ourselves and a cherished goal. That is surmountable and, yes Rob, aligning our heart with what we yearn to reach will always keep us in good company and safe territory. The heart is the art!
hi John. “The heart is the art.” NICE, JOHN! I find that when I come from fear, I cannot make right decisions. I find that when I come from the heart, I cannot help but make right decisions. “The heart is the art.” Thank you for that.
This was a great Rob and you provided the layout for a great exercise in the questions you asked. I’ve discovered a lot here and shared my discovery by answering your questions. Thank you!
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In what domains do you act from the heart-mind?
I honestly don’t act solely from the heart-mind in any domain in life, without effort YET (by effort I mean: correcting my thought when I notice my logical mind taking over, when I know it shouldn’t). I’m still battling my head-mind-takeover. I’m aware of it often after the fact, and sometimes in the midst. You taught me this lesson a year ago and I’ve made progress…I’m working to get rid of my heart-mind thinking (when I shouldn’t think from that mindset), a condition I picked up over the years and thought it was the best way – only because I didn’t know any better. I thought it was the smart way to think logically…and the wrong way to think with my heart…I associated my heart to emotions.
The one domain that I think I act most from the heart-mind is love.
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In what parts of your life do you act with BRAVERY?
I’m becoming more and more brave in the area of personal development. I know that it’s this area that provides me the room to become brave in every other domain of life. Since I’ve really taken this on, I’ve lived life with a lot less fear. Not fearless (YET), but with much less consideration for the fear that used to trouble me.
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In what domains do you act from the head-mind?
All, unfortunately! But I’m venturing closer to heart mind in the following domains: personal growth and business/money.
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In what part of your life are you scared of advancing?
I don’t feel as though I’m afraid to advance in any area. I’ve become wonderfully obsessed with advancing. And I feel like I am advancing. If, by chance, I am afraid of advancing in any area of life, I’m not presently conscious of it. OR – maybe I haven’t reached a level of acceptance of that reality. But I really feel no fear of advancing.
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I’m very curious about all of this great information Rob. I believe in it and since having this knowledge, I’ve been empowered to do something about it. It’s not as simple as 1-2-3, at least for me, but I’ve committed to it and can already feel a difference.
Thank you Rob
Hi Jk. You have made it a habit to replace frantic action (fearful reactions) with quiet seeing. This is apparent in your answers. If I was a professor and you were my student, I would ask you to tutor other students who were seeking the experience of quiet seeing. You read the blog. You slowed down your life long enough to address the matter being raised. You felt that you were called to make marvelous discoveries about yourself. AND YOU DO! What greater gift could you be to yourself, to humanity? You make marvelous discoveries about yourself, and then you share them with the blog community. Thank you.
Ohhh. I like that! There is a big difference between being brave and fearless. Like all my friends think I’m crazy because I’m always going up and talking to people and meeting all kinds of different people. It’s natural for me and I think it’s fun! But socially my girlfriends are wallflower types who wait for things to happen to them. If I see someone I want to talk to I do it without thinking twice. I’m fearless when it comes to that stuff. But when it comes to advancing my career I have to be brave and assertive. I have to get over my fear to approach my boss with new ideas. That’s why it takes time for me to advance on professional goals – I have fear to get over. I’m doing it but I’m not fearless like some other people who just rise to the top. It’s great to look at what comes naturally and what doesn’t. It makes me more forgiving. I envy my friends for some of their career accomplishments which they seemed to take on fearlessly. I’m great at some stuff but have to work harder at other things is all.
Hi Kara. YES, there is a big difference between being brave and fearless. Nice catch. Victory Now!… this is being brave in the face of fear. Living a victorious life is a consequence of becoming fearless in different domains of living. blessings
I can’t recall where this comes from – “feel the fear and…do it anyway.” That is great for when you really want to push publish, or tell someone what you feel, but have concerns about the reaction. Once you realize that you must stay true to yourself, and what other people think is largely irrelevant, that opens so many doors and sets you free. That is my biggest lesson from recent times and so far it has served me well.
I would also say that listening to intuition and being willing to follow through is of huge importance when passing through fear.
There are plenty of things I am afraid of, but I won’t let fear stop me in any arena ever again.
hi Julie. Fear still stops me. There are domains in which I hesitate and procrastinate; I am stopped by the intellect (which is logically fearful). I like your attitude. blessings
For me, the head-mind says I will never be successful, with a car collection and multiple homes – the jetset lifestyle – but the heart mind tells me i will make a difference; I will help others see the value of their unlimited potential – and I know I don’t really *want* the car collection and whatnot. Because of this perspective, I can take action, one step at a time.
And because of that, I am unstoppable.
Hi Brian. I love exotic cars. I buy them. they remind me of my uniqueness in the world (as are all of us). I love fancy homes. I have several. They remind me of how far I’ve come since my childhood days. It’s what these material things remind me of that makes them fun to have. When it comes to material living – success consists of not only buying material things but making them meaningful in your life. Blessings.
Hi Rob,
Great post. We can live a big life if we face our fears and act bravely or we can live a small life and never leave the perimeter of our comfort zone. I think for me acting upon my intuition or what you call the “heart-mind” has made all the difference in expanding my perimeters.
Hi Angela. Intuition (heart-mind) always offers winning tips. Your growing awareness of this fact guarantees a wonderful life. Clearly, you work on this daily. NICE. thank you
I remember long ago I heard the saying, “The only thing to fear is fear itself.” I didn’t appreciate the saying until I learned a partner of fear. Fear’s side-kick in action is “doubt.” I was unstoppable in my dreams, until I learned to doubt myself. The irony was I had to learn it … it didn’t come naturally
Eventually I learned to put doubt in its place by testing myself. I’m amazed by how many things I tried to prove I could not, only to find that I could. Life’s funny like that … ha, ha, ha. Or, shall I say, tragic?
It’s interesting that whether I tested when I was younger and found that I couldn’t (and learned doubt), or tested when I was older and found that I could (and learned double-doubt) … in both cases, the ultimate decider was me.
Hi J.D. Nice distinction: ‘self-doubt is learned (it’s not natural). Self-doubt and ignorance must be studied together. Ignorance is the absence of truth, and then is when self-doubt steps in. thank you.
Hi Rob,
As a local Nigerian, the subject of fear had almost become a second nature to me. We were raised in fear, and we were taught not to worry ourselves in pursuit of our dreams if it involves too much risks, sacrifices or too much energy… Contentment, that’s what our elders call it. But thank God for a forum like this…whenever I want to undertake a new business, or want to explore a new opportunity, the fear of the unknown would envelope my mind, blocking out my creative intellect…and some of the times, I give in to it. But I’ve come to a solution…and it’s really helping me. In challenging situations, I’ll just say to myself, ‘if it is to be, it is up to me’. I’ve learnt from experience to be the ‘creator of my fate, the master of my soul’. Thanks Rob, for this wonderful post.
Hi Oluwa.
you are a great website community member; you exude ‘enthusiasm for change’.
Here is very powerful tip for you to absorb: “Nothing is more foolish than self-trickery, and ‘worshiping fear’ is the worst form of self-trickery.”
You, Oluwa, are meant to make a huge difference in your world – you are a ‘transformational figure’. I can feel this about you. Take this responsibly. There is no stopping you -unless you decide to – and why would you decide that?
Blessings
Hi Rob, I think my biggest heart-mind accomplishment has been my confidence with my craftsman ship. I’ve always excelled with carpentry and handyman stuff. It has always been interesting and fun for me to do. Maybe because I watched my father do it his whole life and he always told me I had I had talent. As you know, I’m working hard on my family life. It’s a lot of head-mind-work, I think. I have to be aware and pay attention to what I’m doing everyday. Somedays it is easier than others. I’m discovering it is kind of a process to go from head to heart, but it is happening. I look forward to they day when being A+ A+ father is as natural as cutting wood!
Hi Roger. I envy your fearlessness when it comes to carpentry. I am fearful in that domain. I hesitate. I procrastinate. I call some like you to come in and take care of the carpentry work that needs doing. Great distinction that you made! blessings.
Rob,
I’m really fascinated by what you have shared here – and especially the idea of head-mind vs. heart-mind. As I reflect on this right now, I can easily see how *easy* it is for me to drift into that head-mind space. And when I do…I limit myself.
Now, to more consciously live in that heart-mind space…
hi lance. the head-mind thinks with logic. Unfortunately, many of the beliefs it holds are based on past failures, so its logic is faulty. The heart-mind looks at possibility, and says, “WOW is me, I can do that.” Breakthroughs begin with awareness of our unstoppability! blessings
Oh wow. This totally made me think of the first time I played out with a band in high school. I definitely wasn’t fearless but that was all heart-mind. That’s how I know it is what I’m here to do! I had so many butterflies in my stomach they were coming up to my back teeth. There was definitely no backing down – as much fear as I had I knew I just had to get out there. I still get butterflies, but now I’ve learned to like the feeling. What I know about myself is if I don’t have that feeling than life is boring. Hmm now about head-mind…. I think for me in my life, career/business is a head-mind trip. I’ve got to work hard just to get through the week. I know that’s no way to live but I guess I’ve never embraced any of my “real” jobs. I think I’m OK with that though. If it means sacrificing my music, I don’t want anything to do with it.
Hi john. thank you for bringing your life into your comment. YES, heart-mind got you into music, and at first you were not fearless. Head-mind would have convinced you to go play sandlot baseball and forget the music. It’s safer. Nice catch! Head-mind offers healing medicine for feelings of inferiority. blessings
Hi Rob, I think I’m pretty brave gal if I do say so myself. I was just a girl from Wisconsin who went on to become a world traveler and business owner. Believe me I was scared out of my mind when I packed my bags. I remember feeling that I really had no choice though. Staying behind in safety just wasn’t an option. There was an excitement to the fear. It is that same exciting/fearful feeling that inspires me to travel the world. I guess I love the fear of the unknown. BUT BUT BUT… when it comes to money I HATE HATE HATE the fear of the unknown. Perhaps if I could get over that riches would be pouring in. That’s a tough one! I’ve never really thought about it like that. As always you have my mind adventuring into new territory (that always an exciting fear btw
Hi Carol Anne. it’s not the ‘fear of the unknown’ that you hate, it’s wandering in the wilderness that you hate. But the fact remains – you must first wander in the wilderness before you can return home. Upon return, you find the truth about your unlimited potential. It is worth, worth, worth it. I love your honesty. blessings
Hi Rob,
I really, really like this post! Facing fear is such a fundamental piece of personal development. We must learn to overcome our fear if we are to push forward in different domains of life. It was interesting to consider how we can be fearless is different areas of our life. My fear wanes for different areas, but have I seen significant differences over the years. For instance, I used to have some social anxiety, this is now gone and I don’t experience any fear in this area. The same is for musical performance. I play drums, and more I have engaged in this the less any amount fear or doubt enters my mind. I will strive to be more brave in business and professional domains though.
hi Joe. I can see that you are reading my posts while asking, “What does this have to do with me.” You are going to gain much from this inquiry. You are much stronger than your challenges, and it’s great to realize it … isn’t it. blessings
When it come to love I’m the KING of the African plains brother man! No Fear there – thats all heart mind cuz it just feels gooood! I think everybody would be spreading the love if their ideas and notions of love weren’t so messed up and upside down. People think love is hard but real love is just freeing and being. Nothing could be simpler. If you can’t get right with love first then everything else is going to be a little off. That’s why people make material possessions their obsessions… they don’t know that it’s all an illusion and the only real thing is love. Like the kitty in the picture we all have everything we need inside. It wasn’t always easy for me. I’ve had to learn how to let down my guard and my ego still gets in the way sometimes. I want to be absolutely fearless with love at the end of my life. That to me would be a successful life!
Hi Rus. I can feeeel the truth in your comment. It’s a booster. Either love can conquer fear or it cannot. Well, guess what? It can … and you soooo know that. NICE. thank you
“Bravery requires fear.” I like that, Rob. It’s so true that bravery ceases to be needed when there is no longer fear. Standing on a stage to speak to 1,000 people requires courage only from those terrified of public speaking. None is needed from those who feel perfectly at home in front of a crowd like that. Excellent point!
Hi Ken. That’s a good one – ‘fear of public speaking’. YES, this is one of the greatest fears of all! It’s a shame. The fear comes from feeling inferior. No human being should feel that way. We do something great for ourselves when we see the insanity of feeling inferior. We are all incredibly unique beings with a bottomless reserve of unrealized potential. Feelings of inferiority intensify fear. The bridge by which we cross over from fearfulness to fearlessness is accepting the truth of our incredible nature. Thank you.
Hi Robert. This is an interesting one. It got me thinking about people I’ve sailed with who were “brave” and people who were “fearless.” Looking back, I think the fearless ones were just plain nuts – they always had few screws loose. Fearless sounds good, but the more I think about it the more I see that it is not an admirable quality. It assumes a certain lack of logic. It’s not a good thing when it comes to being cavalier with the lives of others. However; a brave person has to make the tough decisions and does so with the good of all concerned. It may not always be the right decision, but taking on the responsibility is necessary and courageous. You know, sometimes we have to do something even if it is wrong.
Hi Salty. I like that: ‘be brave with good for all concerned’; don’t be brave at someone else’s expense. Nice addition to the post. You are living from your recovered essence, which is a feeling of ‘oneness’ with all of us. I can feel that about you. Thank you.
I can’t agree more about the point you made about children living from the heart-mind.
I think a big part of me overcoming cancer as a child was because of that. I had no concept just how dangerous my cancer was. I continued to live my life and did my best to stay in step with my class mates and activities.
If I had experienced cancer for the first time as an adult, my fear could have overwhelmed me.
I love comparing the pictures of child cancer fighters with adult cancer fighters. The children are much more often the ones still smiling, still fighting, still imagining their futures and what they are going to do when they beat the cancer.
It’s what I picture when I think of bravery.
Thanks for the excellent reminder.
Bryce
Hi Bryce. Your post touched me. We need not hide anything from the truth, for the truth is always here to support us. You trusted the truth (which is that you are incredible), and the truth supported you during your childhood challenge with cancer. Thank you. Thank you
Hi Rob,
This was deep. I think most of us have fear in at least one area of life. The more we take on challenges and the more we go out of our comfort zone, the more brave and confident we become. Some of my fears include public speaking and venturing in a business that I don’t know much about. One of the best ways that have helped me deal with fear is facing what I’m afraid of. This way instead of only worrying, I face whatever I’m afraid of and usually things turn to be ok. However, it is easier done in some areas than others. Thanks for sharing my friend
Hi Dia. YES, when we face our fears directly, we are at the perfect starting point for overcoming them. You cannot exhaust your strength when it comes to winning at whatever you set your mind to, Dia. You are so ripe for expanding your horizon. Thank you
Hi Rob,
I heard someone once say that fear is “False Evidence Appearing Real”. In the past, I could never have understood what that meant truly meant. Not because it was out of my reach intellectually, but because I was constantly running from my fears.
I didn’t possess any of the confidence that I’ve gain over the last eight months. I know this because over this period in my life, I’ve accomplished more in eight months than I have in thirty three years of my life.
34 has truly been an awesome year for me!
I still have fear that sneaks up here and there, but I no longer run the other way from it. I approach it with the mindset that it can be conquered.
It still takes me a minute to tap into my bravery, but I’m certain that’s normal. Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? Nor will those fears magically disappear. However, where I am in my life I at least am able to stand my ground and take on those fears.
I may get knocked down in the process, but I think that it’s all in the fight. Will I ever let what knocked me down, keep me down? The answer is a firm “NO”!
Thanks for sharing this post Rob! I thoroughly enjoyed the read mate!
Hi Deeone. Your true nature is always there for you, so take the time every day to release it into your challenges. You are discovering the invisible powers that are deep inside of you. You are a disciple of life; believe this, and watch the arrival of a world beyond your joyous imaginings. blessings
awww man! Enough with these wake up calls! My life stinks!
. Man, my parents got me so mixed up and scared of life I don’t which way is up. I can’t even go get a few beers without hearing their voices making me feel guilty for having a good time. And then the whole point is to try meet girls and have a meaningful relationship and even that becomes some kind of backwards fear-fest. You know the pattern, I drink too much to basically get over my fears and it makes me look like an ass and feel terrible. As I write this little therapy rant, I kind of realize that I need to find a healthy way to approach dating with the heart-mind. I wish I was fearless, but that ain’t happening! Any tips? My head-mind as me tripping and fumbling.
Hi Alan. I have a tip for you. When speaking pessimistically, pause to ask yourself, “Where am I thinking wrongly right now?” True guidance will comes to you if you dare to ask this with an open mind. Dare’st you? blessings
Hi Rob, This is an interesting discussion. Life is strange in the way that some things scare us and somethings just come easily and naturally. I don’t know if that is nature or nurture, but it seems to me that just about any fear can be overcome with right thinking. A soldier charges into war because his mind has been conditioned to do so. An arachnophobe is afraid of spiders until he can overcome his ignorance. I think my doubts and fears have all been based on ignorance. I used to fret and worry about my mortality until I learned to manage stress and live a healthy lifestyle. This mitigates the fear of the unknown. Know I think my greatest fear is the fear of the unknown about what to do with my retirement years. I never would have dreamed that such a thing would be a source of anxiety. By finding purpose and being creative I am overcoming the ignorance self. Scary indeed, to realize I’ve never really known my self.
Hi Georgie. The ignorant self ignores the truth. The authentic self yearns for the truth, knowing it offers lessons that enhance your growth and development. It seems to me that you are doing wonderfully with your yearning to learn more about the truth. You are being authentic. You are going to like where that truth takes you. Thank you.
Hi Rob,
Fear is a really big one for me. In some areas of my life I am fearless while in others I find myself being held back by fear. I would have to say that one of my biggest demonstrations of bravery would be the treatment that I went through for a knee injury (both knees) I suffered at the end of April in 2008. I am deathly afraid of needles-the sight of them makes my stomach turn. So when I found out that the treatment for the tears in my tendons involved needles, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to handle it.
The treatment was prolotherapy where they take a sugar water solution and inject it into each one of the tears to create an inflammatory response with the hopes that the inflammatory response heals the body.
The first treatment I received between 26-28 injections into the tears in the tendons around my knee (no, that is not a typo). I was laying on the doctor’s table, holding my boyfriends hand. I had a sweat shirt in my mouth and was biting down on it while tears were streaming down my face. When the doctor had finished, my knee was about five times its normal size. I had to use crutches to leave his office and for the next four days until some of the pain subsided.
Because I had the injury in both knees, I went back for the same . And that’s how it was for me. Every two weeks for a year and a half I received this treatment. As I began to heal, the number of injections went down and I eventually was getting both knees done at the same time and moved on to Platelet Rich Plasma therapy (another injectible treatment). In total, I received over 300 injections into the tendons surrounding my knees.
I am happy to report that in June 2010 I started running again and am now up to 40-45 miles/week in preparation for a marathon. Interestingly, when I started running, the doctor told me that he thought I would never run again because my quads were so shredded.
Although the treatment was excruciating I was more afraid of not being able to run than I was of the needles. It is amazing what we can overcome when we put our mind to it.
Hi Lisa. Now that is a fabulous story. Real stories are so invigorating; I could feel it! Thank you for that. You not only got to heal your knees, you healed a part of you that gave you more inner strength to take on greater challenges in your life. That’s a incredible win / win. You teach others great lessons when you share personal experiences. Thank you.
When I was at my most manic and out of control I was pretty fearless. I was living fast and carelessly. Looking back and reflecting on this I realize that what I thought was brave and heroic was very foolish and often dangerous. Fearless is not something I envy in people any more. Now that I’ve slowed down the things that scare me the most are simple things like stepping out of my comfort zone and communicating my emotions. It’s hard to believe how terrifying that can be! Getting in touch with my “spirituality” has been head-mind work. I still hear those old voices that tell me I look and sound foolish. I guess looking bad is one of my biggest fears. I would love to be free from those old voices and just not care anymore.
Hi Richard. One of man’s greatest fears is looking bad. Yet, those who dare look bad in order to grow, look real good in the end. Awareness of this foolish fear offers strength! blessings
Increasingly, fear is something that I hope to gain an increased understanding of. I have also come to the same conclusion about operating too much from the head. Fear is something that I have lived with for a long time. I hope to overcome it by aligning with my heart and proceed anyway. Thank you for the affirmation that I need today!
Hi Evelyn. We live with too much fear these days. Some is valid, and most is not. Wall Street uses fear to sell many of its items, from insurance to toothpaste. We cannot relax our mind when it is filled with fearful ideas, and we need to relax our mind in order to flow with our full potential. You’re not alone with your quest. Blessings
Money, money, money! I am all over the map with this one. You know it’s one of my biggest hang ups. You’ve helped me tremendously by asking the tough questions that get at the root of my beliefs around money. So, I give myself credit for being brave enough to look deeply. For so long I was in denial. It takes being brave to look at myself and say “Hey, your full of it!” I held onto my know-it-all / holier-than-thouness for so long it was painful and embarrassing to give up. But now I’m not afraid to say it loud “I LOVE MONEY AND MONEY LOVES ME!” Thanks for that one, Rob.
Hi alicia. Wow, you are ready to confront any fear you have about money! That’s a big one (not only for you, but for most folks). No miss-take in your life need set a permanent course … and fear around money is a miss-take. Nice noticement! blessings
Great post again Rob. “Bravery requires fear.” Yes, this is very true. I came from a very small town growing up. Moving to the city as an adult helped me to face many fears.
Life is what we make of it and if we stay in that comfort zone and don’t face our fears we really don’t learn what we are made of. We lose what we we made for to offer the world.
Every day I do face a fear, but know that to face and defeat that fear will help me move forward and be proud of who I really am.
I always say to myself, Feel with your heart and think with your head. Feel the fear in your heart, but realize you can use your mind to overcome that fear.
Love the way you get down to the nitty gritty of things Rob.
Blessing,
Debbie
Hi Debbie. YES, facing our fears helps us see what we are made of – incredible potential! Choose to understand this. Stick with this choice. an unlimited supply of unrealized potential comes to your side. You know that so well, don’t you. Blessings
Yes, Rob, I have to admit that I know it well! Have a great evening.
Yea son, YEAH!! I’m all over this – I LIVE my life with NO FEAR. You know thats my motto, Robby-boy!! HAhA. I totalie got what you mean. Even when I am scared of something I don’t let that stop me. Unless it’s something that keeps me from DYING … Like jumping off a bridge – I have a high school friend who went to Iraq and now he does crazy shit like driving drunk and jumping off roofs and shiz. I wont do THAT because I’M not an idiot (and he needs serious help!! for real). BUT, even the most beautiful girl in the world might make me a little nervous to talk to her but I get over that in two NANO Seconds. When sense that nervous feeling thats how I know it is time to STEP UP my GAME. That why the call me BIG GAME!!! HAhAHA. You can be sure a quarterback gets nervous before the superbowl, but would he sit out? HELL NO! He’d rather die than not be on the big stage. That’s me – GIVE ME THE BALL in the Super Bowl or the Ninth Inning or in OT on the COURT son. I love stepping UP and being an ALL STAR. And we can’t shine on unless the game is on the line. All fear means to me is that IT’s MY TURN to ROCK the SHIZ outta the SITUATION!!! Thats why they call me BIG GAME SITUATION GIMME THE BALL MAGIC M. HAHHAHA!!!
Peace out!!
Hi Magic. INDEED, a professional athlete would never, never, never choose to sit out the big playoff game because of fear; that’s what makes him a pro. nice point! Your inner instructor, Magic, is always trying to be heard over your noisy mind; do you pause to listen? Blessings
Hi Rob, fear has been a big road block and frustration in my life. I can think of opportunities I’ve missed just out fear to venture into the unknown. A few years back I had a friend that was starting a business and he was looking for partners and gave me an opportunity to get on board. I took what I thought was the secure route by sticking with a “secure” job and doing what I knew. Blah, blah we all know in this economy there is no such thing as a secure job. There is definitely a part of me that wishes I got on board with my friend. The business is not sky rocketting but he is making it. As you know I was laid off. In hindsight I would have been better off taking a risk. At least then I would have been responsible for my own fate instead of feeling like my life is at the whim of the economy or some idiot in HR.
hi Ramone. I like what you brought to the post – yourself! It’s a happy day when you realize that you simply cannot afford to allow your anger or fear to determine your life for you. blessings
Hi Rob,
I like this post and all the discussion it generated.
You touched on a sensitive subject that most people would have experienced in their life. Everyone has fears, even though self professed fearless persons. The only difference is how people deal with the fear they feel.
As a student I was fearful of asking questions. Deeply embedded in my subconscious of a sense of inadequacy which I did not know came from where. I was too conscious of how people would think of me. Once in a general paper class, after asking question I was criticized for asking a silly question. That pushed me deeper into my shell.
As an adult I used to fear public presentation and speaking. Somehow, i just did not feel that I was up to it. But today, I look for these opportunities. Hell, I have even become a trainer for public presentation as you can see from my latest series on presentation tips. What a change.
How did it happen? I just decided that at if I faced my fear, there are treasures beyond my wildest dreams. I live by this quote about fear: “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to keep taking action despite the presence of fear.” This is exactly the remedy you have preached in this post. More people should feel the fear and do it anyway. Fear is gonna lose in the end.
hi Jimmy. Your deep feeling of inadequacy comes from the 60,000 NO’s you heard between age two and six. Your ability to overcome feelings of inadequacy comes from YOU, which you have proven to yourself (and share here). Your past is changed in astonishing ways when you see the flaws in your thinking, and seek higher truths to reinterpret it. Nice job! thank you
Rob,
Thanks for your words again here. I really appreciate your genuine concerns.
Hope you will check out Justin Mazza on my bloggers’ interview series for personal development and spread his love.
Cheers and I looking forward to your next post.
Hey Rob.
I know I read this article before. I thought I commented on it, but maybe not.
Fear is a really interesting subject. What I’ve actually discovered lately is that I have some latent fear regarding success. As I’ve been doing better and better at things, a small voice in my head thinking that everything is going to explode has become a little more apparent.
It’s not a HUGE voice, but it’s definitely there somewhere. It’s just one of those things I need to face and remove.
By the way, I love the pictures, lol. The Internet was made for cats!
Hi Fred. You feel as though you’ve read this post before … you have … you’ve written and read it in many different languages over many lifetimes in your 10,000 year history. This may be ‘the big lifetime’ for you! Imagine being yourself 100%, and looking at your fears with the natural strength and poise that accompanies you every time you show up on the planet … what will that be like? Will you make it this lifetime to do this? You are on the right track. Blessings
Wait a minute, you’re being serious aren’t you?
If that’s true, that would be awesome. I like the idea of being some ancient, wizened type of being.
Once again Teach I am excused from homework by being one of the bussed in ‘Special Kids’ for whom an analysis of fear would be too tainted by abnormal circumstances.
However what a gift that would be to most adults, to be able to regain the unabashed heart/mind of their youth. Isn’t it a shame that of all the glorious truths we could teach our children and each other, one of the overriding things we pass on with flourish is continual, paralyzing fear.
Hi pea. you contain a depth of wisdom that interests me. You have refreshed your fragile human nature with that refined power call endurance … it shows! I like what you notice about mankind handing paralyzing fears onto the next generation; the insanity!!! Thank you
Hi Rob, Being an athlete has been my heart-mind specialty. I’ve always excelled easily and kind of fearlessly. I always liked challenging the boys! Whatever it was, field hockey, soccer, softball… I’ve been able to do it pretty well. It always helps me to think about my athletic success when I take on new challenges. When I started my new job it was out of my comfort zone, but what helped me was reminding myself that I’ve been challenged before and risen to the top – so I can do it again! It helped me to excel in the workplace. Now I show up to work each morning with confidence ready to take on the day.
Hi Joan. I love it when I discover a domain of living in which I am willing to break through the fear and eventually become fearless. It reminds me that if I can do it in that domain, I can do it in others. Your real nature never wants to stop having breakthroughs. Thank you for that example. blessings
How in this world will I express how much you have affected my life positively…?of late,I’ve gone nooks and crannies in the quest for solutions to my fear and shyness…these two things had denied me of some opportunities that would have put me on the right track. But now I know the truth, that if I want to live fearless, then I have to advance to the unknown every minute. Thanks so much Mr Rob and my sweet brother, Oluwarotimi Adesina who recommended Mr Rob. GOD bless You both.
Hi Jonas. Might I offer you a personal insight that could help you understand the journey you are on? Persistence in pursuit of successful living must include the willingness to learn from our miss-takes. A musician is not judged by the prior miss-takes he made, but by how well he is playing right now. You’ve heard this before, I thought I’d offer it a little differently to you this time. Welcome aboard, and blessings
I have trouble with fear when I repeatedly get results that are not what I want.
I dive right in expecting to make money…and I do have some success and then the money stops or slows down…so I try another approach again and again and again…then frustration and defeat just pound me down.
I love to read so when I started reviewing books on my blog, I was making about $400 a month…now with so many folks reviewing for free and rules changes I am making about $15 a month…My book group only wants to read books they can get for free and play on their MP3 players.
Several times working I have made $1000 for a month…but I have never been paid for my work what I am worth….For 5 years I used my two graduate degrees to be Campus Minister at a State University for $500 a month and no benefits…I did excellent work and followed my heart….now the faculty that call me back for one shots…are all retiring….I never got hired…
Melody, from Deliberately Receiving says I should just focus on how all this good work and effort is going to come back to me….
I just find fear overwhelming when I think I might just be on the streets when I can no longer work at all.
My body will not let me clean houses or dig ditches any more…but answers do not seem to arise….there is a down side to not using fear as a friend.