August 5th, 2011 by rob white
Student: What’s the first thing I have to do before I begin winning at the game of life?
Teacher: Understand that a disturbance to your daily plans of winning is as much a part of winning as your planned action.
Student: What’s that mean?
Teacher: It means that if you divide your journey into two parts – one part called: on target, and the other part called: interruptions -you’re setting yourself up for frustration.
Student: What happens when I set myself up for frustration?
Teacher: You begin having anxious cravings to get back on track.
Student: Isn’t that important to do – get back on track?
Teacher: A sailboat tacking from point A to point B is rarely on track … it’s a zig zag journey. This is the way of reality. Anxious cravings to get back on track are wasted energy; you are on track … it’s a zig zag journey.
What did I personally learn from the above conversation between me as the student and me as the teacher? I learned four things:
(1) I banish the notion of flying straight like an arrow toward the target I seek – it just isn’t going to happen like that.
(2) I resolve to see the journey of life in a new and triumphant way:
A. I don’t have it all figured out ahead of time.
AND
B. I don’t waste energy with anxious cravings when I feel I’m off track.
(3) I have a cheerful receptivity toward interference – there is a valuable lesson being offered.
(4) I study the lessons the interference is offering – it’s like the wind that guides the sailboat to its destination.
Life always offers an invitation to win. Never accept a gloomy attitude when it feels like you are losing. A right relationship with winning guarantees winning.
People unwisely prefer self-help syrup, which explains why they are not succeeding in life. It takes no courage to cling to syrupy self-help clichés; it takes courage to abandon them for the truth.
The truth is:
(1) Positive thinking alone cannot help you succeed – real thinking can and does help you succeed.
(2) When the mind is truly quiet (not filled with “I can do it … I can do it” chatter), the answers that come are truly accurate.
(3) Profitable efforts come from patient attempts – not from dogged persistence.
(4) Whether you’re aware of it or not, you have a permanent invitation from life, an invitation to win – so be aware of it.
If you were to earnestly endeavor to take on the above truths, what now seems like an insurmountable obstacle to you will one day seem easy.
(1) Please give me some feedback on how this blogs affects your attitude.
(2) What have you personally learned to do that is truly sensible and practical when it comes to succeeding?
Thank you and blessings, rob
“Best Comment of the Week.” This weeks best comment comes from William Tha Great of GettingToThaPaper. The runner up is El Edwards from Truth. Passion. Joy. Thank you both for your honest, heartfelt sharing. See their comments here.
Illustrations by nick
Rob, it’s so true – we become anxious when the target is not directly in front of us. Detours don’t feel like a part of the path that they usually are! I love #3 “Profitable efforts come from patient attempts – not from dogged persistence.”
This blog reminds me reminds me reminds me.
Thanks for that!
Lori
Hi Lori. Detours are an essential part of life. Yes, indeed! One way to be realistic about success is to see progress as an interplay between ‘on target’ and ‘detours’. Thank you for bringing that up. blessings
Rob,
What a thoughtful and helpful post. I’m noticing more and more that my true self is waiting to be discovered. It’s already there and I think all of those “zig zags” that you refer to are meant-to-be trails that, when followed, expose me to more than I would have discovered had I planted my will on something specific, determining to achieve. I’m really enjoying the journey as more and more incredible people and experiences show up where I didn’t even know to look. I was looking for help with my blog, my book, my business, and I’m being led to even better places.
Thanks so much for clarifying what that means to me!
Betsy
Hi Betsy. Nice insight: zig zags offer you something valuable that you would not have gotten if you’d gone straight. That’s good. Why depend on a straight line when you can have your own exclusive zig zags. blessings
Fantastic insight Rob. I love the first number 2 – when the mind is truly quiet… this is why I meditate almost every day.
I prefer to think of it as a road. Sometimes the road seems to veer sharply off track and we think we’re going in the wrong direction or taking a detour, when in fact it
1.) it may be a shortcut
2.) it’s maybe allowed us to avoid a major obstacle
3.) it’s a much more fun way to go.
the key, for me, is to feel my way through it. Again, I have to get quiet first and shut out all the voices. And then I listen. Does this way feel good? Am I just afraid, or do I really feel that I’m on the wrong path? I use the same technique when I come to a fork in the road. Which way feels better?
I truly believe that ALL roads will lead us exactly where we want to go. The only difference is how much fun (or not) we’ll have getting there and and how long it will take.
You’ve really helped me articulate some important thoughts here. Thank you for that.
As always, you rock.
Hugs,
Melody
Hi Melody. You articulated some important thoughts clearly with this comment, Melody. The presence of a ‘Clear Thinking Melody’ puts you in the presence of a ‘real source of success’ in your life … YOU! Thank you.
Rob, I just enjoy the teachings from the teacher. There is something very helpful in recognizing when life guides you towards a new path. Go with the flow advice is often overlooked, but it’s valuable. Or at least, its worked well for me.
Hi David. I am glad you brought up ‘go with the flow.’ Some folks think the flow is always going straight – it’s not. Practical wisdom like this is a gem of immeasurable value. Thank you.
Hi rob,
“I have a cheerful receptivity toward interference”. This is a must in life. Every day we run into interference. Rather that becoming anixous about it, I like to fine tune my common sense.
As you say, “(1) Positive thinking alone cannot help you succeed – real thinking can and does help you succeed.”
You ask,” Please give me some feedback on how this blogs affects your attitude.” there are somedays it puts a smile on my face, because it makes me think and grow. other times my thinking goes out the window with the wind, because it has been a long day and I don’t want to think anymore. That is usually when I come back to it later.
All in all you are doing a wonderful job and are good a blowing peoples minds at times. This is good we all need a little cleaning out ones in a while. Keeps us on our toes and makes life fun to live.
Blessing always,
Debbie
Hi Debbie. I imagine you DO have a cheerful receptivity toward interference – why resist? right? Interference is going to happen no matter what our attitude may be. It’s our response to interference that makes a difference in our lives. Thank you for your contribution to the blog.
Hey Rob, another great post.
“What have I personally learned to do that is truly sensible and practical when it comes to succeeding?” Actually, I think the biggest thing is what you mentioned. To stop wasting energy with anxious cravings when you go off track. That used to KILL my success with various endeavors. Being able to understand how life truly is a zig-zag path, that has done wonders in my own life.
If you’re ever straight on course, you’re either expending too much (unnecessary) energy to stay there, or you will soon be drifting off course again. No reason to freak out when life takes what seems like a detour – it’s all part of the plan.
Hi Andrew. Thank you for the insight: interference is part of the grand plan. YES. Understand that interference is annoying at first … eventually this understanding helps end the annoyance. blessings.
Hi Rob, It’s good to know that nobody gets it all right the first time. What a myth! Pah! I think I’m pretty good about allowing myself zigzzags these days. I just grew too tired of constantly berating myself for not being perfect. Perfectionism is the bane of a successful zigzagger! When I was starting my business, I must have had that “patient effort” approach or else I would have lost my mind. I don’t think you really have a choice when you are really committed to making something work. If I knew now what I didn’t know then I simply would not have beat myself up so much. There were days when total fear and doubt just paralyzed me – I don’t think it is necessary to go through that torment. The most important thing is to enjoy the whole process.
Hi Carol Anne. I like that: perfectionism is the bane of successful zig zagging. That one statement shows that ‘you got the message’. It should be of no concern at all if we find ourselves off course, as long as we re still looking in the right direction. blessings.
Hi Rob,
I know those little anxious feelings that come about when we get distracted or have obstacles. I used to get stressed about it but that makes me feel worse.
I do my best to keep myself feeling good. Getting anxious does not make me feel good so I reach for a thought or action that does.
Your posts are always positive and uplifting to me.
Hi Justin. I like the directness of your comment – right to the point. Nice. We are able to use the mind to heal the mind when we look at things with simplicity in mind. Thank you.
Hi Rob,
This was great. I never thought of comparing the zig-zag journey of a sailboat to our course in life. When you put it in those terms it puts it all into perspective. I can see how we are on course even though it would appear at times that we’ve veered off course. It’s just the way things work. Thank you!
Hi Angela. A calm woman, moving quietly on a zig zag course, gets to where she wants to go quicker than a thousand screaming men that are yelling, “go left, go left … no, go right, go right!” You’re that calm woman. blessings
Hi Rob,
Excellent, just excellent. It’s all part of life (zigzagging,failure, surprises etc) and life is pretty good. Have a good weekend.
Riley
Hi Riley. The trouble with one wrong idea is that it leads to another. Thinking that success is a straight road is a wrong idea. Thinking that we’re failing because we are not on a straight road to success is another wrong idea. And down we go, down the rabbit hole. Of course, you are one who knows that, it is clear with your comment. blessings
Whew. What a breath of fresh air after the week I had! Sometimes I feel like another week goes by and I’ve really made no more progress toward my goals. I feel a little more patient and forgiving with myself now. Even though I don’t feel like I’ve made progress I can see that all the set backs are just part of my own journey. I’ve just got to keep my eyes up and zigzagging toward the shore. I can get sooo frustrated and anxious when I feel stuck where I am. I just have to take a long term look at all these frustrations. After all, I’m not just trying to skip over a puddle – I’m crossing the ocean! Thanks rob!!
Hi Kara. I like your metaphor; you’re crossing the ocean (not just skipping over a puddle). Can I use it in my next book? Nice response to the blog, Kara, thank you.
Rob,
You always provide such wonderful metaphors and symbolism to get your message across. This post is timely for me as I have been more consumed with responsibility than usual, and it wasn’t necessarily in my plan to have this disturbance that prevented some other accomplishments. I love the notion that “real” thinking is what will lead us to success, not simply “positive” thinking. We need to think positively but also must be flexible and have an outlook of open-mindedness.
Hi Joe. YES, real thinking includes positive thinking, but it is more than that (as you pointed out). Remind yourself frequently to be real about your thinking, and it is easier to accept the zig zags of life. It’s also easier to see that the zigs and the zags have no power to hold you back. blessings
Hi Rob, I can get so worked up about setbacks that happen to me on a daily basis. It’s all those little interferences that add up that get me steamed and frustrated. My mind starts running wild when I think about all the things I could be doing instead of dealing with the minutae of “getting back on track.” Interesting you should use that phrase, it comes up in my mind all the time. I always feel like I’m saying “Ok, just gotta do this, this and this and then I’ll be back on track…” The problem is there is no end to “this, this and this.” What I’m realizing is I just have to change my relationship to these interferences. I don’t really know how yet, but I’m going to think about it… for my own sanity.
Hi Roger. You are right, there is no end to ‘this and this and this’ in life. When we make mental prison bars out of ‘this and this and this’, then we create our own emotional problems, don’t we. blessings
Hi there! What a great post!
Completely agree that those interferences life decides to throw at us every so often are all part of a bigger picture. It is hard sometimes to relinquish control of the steering wheel and just let life go down the road its going down, but I’ve found it definitely helps in terms of stress levels!
I also think that sometimes, unless you emotionally let go and release the need to control how things are going, they barely move forward anyway, because the whole thing is being held to tightly for it to grow… I try to let go of as much as I can now, and seen vast improvements as a result, and I’m a hell of a lot happier!
Hi there, Kiri. Nice comment. It contains great spirit. YES, it is important to let go of control every once in a while (and let your life go where it is going in spite of your efforts). We find that after enduring the changes we did not anticipate, we still win at the game of life. Thank you.
Right on brother man. People just have to be more willing to go with the flow. If there is one thing I’m good at, it is just allowing the universe to send me signals and listen to what they say. So many of my friends just stubbornly keep moving in a direction that is killing them. I mean that almost literally, they stick it out in jobs that give them ulcers or stay in a relationship that makes them miserable. Not me, brother. The moment I start feeling ill at ease I am changing direction and getting back in flow with the fine things of life. My greatest success is that I am a fine Artist of living it up. All that means to me is accepting every invitation to the party of life – I stay at the ones that are rockn and ditch the ones that are proliferated by lame ass frat boys.
Hi Rus. Freedom comes with self-awakening. When we awaken ourselves to the truth about how life works,and accept rather than deny it, we stop living with tension and bitterness. That is what you are pointing out with your comment. I like how you did that. blessings
Like the metaphor this week, Rob. There is just no way we are going to figure it all out ahead of time. So many people never even leave the dock because they feel they need to get it all planned out. I think my greatest gift is that I am always ready to go – my bags are packed – no itinerary necessary. For me, needing to know all the details ahead of time is boring. If I have all the details what’s the point in trying something new? It’s the adventure that happens in between the lines that make life worth living.
Hi Salty. You mention that we are never going to figure it all out ahead of time. This is so perfectly true. We are never going to get it all done either. AND we’re never going to get it all done right. There are 3 big ones right there, Salty: (1) never going to figure it all out (2) never going to get it all done (3) never going to get it all done right. Now we can relax! blessings
Nice, real, honest, and accurate Rob. I think many people’s invites are stuck in the post or, put another way, in their head and not delivered to their actions stations senses. They are paralysed by fear rather than powered by belief. Dreams don’t get fully planned they evolve as we do, they happen because we do! – they expand as we expand onto the road, that great highway to the high life. So zig and zag, yin and yang, stop and go, and start and keep going. The end is found when the beginning is ignited. A journey of a thousand delights commences with one light but sure step!!
Hi john. I like that: plans evolve as we evolve. That is worth pondering. Also, in the absence of demanding our plans turn out exactly as planned, daily circumstances cannot cause stress. This, right here, that we’ve shared, is a powerful lesson. blessings
Hi Rob,
Wonderful post! All great accomplishments in life came after many tries. It is rare for someone to succeed at something great from the first time. This is why many people give up too fast thinking they have to succeed at whatever they want to achieve from the first or second try. If we work on ourselves internally like having faith, being more patient, visualize and focus on what we do want, overcome our limiting beliefs etc…along with taking inspired action we would get there and win in life. What a wonderful feeling that is. Thanks for sharing Rob
Hi Dia. YES, great action happens over time (with many tries). We get better at what we rehearse over and over again. This is not just Hollywood jargon; it’s a scientific fact that we prove with our every day experiences. blessings.
> you are on track … it’s a zig zag journey.
Beautiful. Life really is a zig zag.
One of my mentors told me he found his career journey to be like orbiting around the planets. Sometimes, it’s circling the same place, other times it’s a fast trajectory. Sometimes it feels like a step back, while other times, it really i just a part of the journey of life.
Hi J.D. How many mentors do you have? I like that you are such a great student. You get to share what you learn so you can absorb it deeper. Expanding one’s awareness leads to incredible growth and development. Nice job. blessings
I learn from everybody, and everyone I can. Everyone has a unique strength or skill or perspective that I can learn from.
I have, and have had, many mentors of varying capacities. I own my growth, so I continuously seek out people to learn from. One of my strengths is sharing and scaling expertise.
Hi Rob,
This article just about brought tears to my eyes. I have done so much zig zagging that I am becoming sea sick. My sails are torn and my boat weathered. What keeps me afloat is the knowledge that others have made the trip.
I love what you said about “Profitable efforts come from patient attempts – not from dogged persistence.” Recently I posted on another blog about how I have been working hard in the wrong way. And so I press on…
Thanks for sharing this.
Hi Lisa. “I’ve done so much zig zagging that I’ve become seasick.” That’s funny. Thank you for that. When you associate with what is right within you, it supplies fresh energy for necessary change to overcome the seasickness. blessings
Hi Rob, Well you know creativity is all about those zigzags. If you are not making mistakes you are not making anything. I could fill a library with all the crappy songs I’ve had to throw out! It is like mining for diamonds, you have to dig through so much dirt and filth just to find that sparkle every once and a while. But, Man that little sparkle will have me digging until the day I die. I don’t care if my fingernails fall off and and my back aches – the feeling of creating that diamond is the essence of life for me. I’m sure all the great artists have developed a successful relationship to their failures – as painful and tormenting as it can be – deep down they know that it is the sine qua non of their art. You can’t have one with out the other.
Hi john. “If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not making anything.” That is a prize statement. Can I use it in my next book? Having forgotten this truth (that you offer), mankind argues over the best way to get where we want to go mistake-free. The argument will never stop because the journey is never mistake-free. blessings
Rob,
I always like how you explain with example of student and teacher. I have been going through zigzag of my own lately so have not been so regular reading my favorite blogs.
Sometimes, letting go and embracing our own (read my own) pitfalls and surrendering for awhile helps for me.
Your posts are always inspirational.
Preeti
Hi Preeti. Welcome back. I always like hearing from you. You have your own unique journey to take. To the truly intelligent seeker (which you are), failures and disappointments are only guideposts. Please always remember that. blessings.
You present some brutal truths, Rob. I don’t think most people realize just how many invitations they get over the course of a lifetime. Something happens to people where they just don’t seem to see the opportunities that are right under their noses. While I have compassion for people who struggle and scrape to get by, at a certain point you have to be willing to pick yourself up by the boot straps and just go for it. The times I have fallen into the “I can do it” positive jargon, I knew deep down I was deluding myself. Eventually I would come up flat. All my successes came when life gave me my invitation and I simply knew that this was it… I think it is a feeling that can’t be explained. I can think of two big instances in my life: when I started my firm and when I met my wife. Theres no need for positive chatter when you are clear and impassioned about something.
Hi Georgie. AH, YES … the truth can feel brutal at first, but when we accept it and stop pushing against it … it can bless us in wonderful new ways. Chains of discontent are broken by the brutal truth. Please give that a second read. blessings.
I always feel your messages resonate on some kind of level. Especially this comment:
(2) When the mind is truly quiet (not filled with “I can do it … I can do it” chatter), the answers that come are truly accurate.
The answers are there…the struggle just has to be quiet enough to listen. Because the answer just may be the key to allow you to let go of that struggle.
Hi Kenya. I sense that you have gone through some deep struggles? Discover something that is vital for you to know, Kenya; then put all of your mind into understanding it. All that is vital, that you need to know right now, Kenya, is that you ‘want out of your lost condition’. Your honesty about this is an openness for help, which is already on its way to you. Please read this five times. blessings
Thank you very much Rob
Hi Rob,
First time I’ve been to your site, but not the first time I’ve read your work. You are on some of my favorite blogs.
Anyways, I really enjoyed this post. Your conversational style was a welcome change to many of the other blogs I read and your advice was profound.
Looking forward to being a regular.
Hi Bryce. Welcome. Here is my ‘welcome gift’ to you:
‘Your first duty in life is toward your own spiritual health; it is not toward daily activity’.
What specifically does this tip have to do with you? When you deeply absorb it, it becomes a compass that guides you to efficient and effective daily activity (and life gets so much easier).
blessings
I really do love this one Rob!
I work with those who get so upset everything things don’t go as planned that whole days are often wasted!
However, I also realize that not going in a straight path has been a source of discouragement for me from time to time too.
What a fabulous reminder that each zig and each zag presents an opportunity for things that perhaps we have not yet imagined… I can think of so many instances in my life where not getting what I want has turned into getting something wonderful that I never thought to expect.
That’s good reason for trusting both The Universe and ourselves as far as I can see!
Hi Jenny ann. INDEED, when we learn to trust the universe, we learn to trust ourselves (and it also works the other way around). Simply knowing this has you walking toward a new and different world. Thank you for that. blessings
Oh man, you know I have had plenty of frustrations with my goals. Sometimes I’m Ok and patient and just have fun with it. But other times I just get depressed because it feels like there is no end in sight. I don’t want to cop out and just “oh thats okay, you’ll get next time, tiger” because I’m scared I’ll be 50 years old and saying the same thing. I think I have to be serious about things, but I’m tired of failing. Part of me wants to give up and have no ambitions and coast along for a bit. Is that wrong?! I feel so guilty saying it.
Hi alan. Being serious about things is a great idea if you don’t do it in a grave way. You need not feel defeated to get serious; in fact, that defeats the point. Think about that. blessings.
This is great rob. I’ve done plenty of zig-zagging trying to find my passion. It was very frustrating when I was always trying to “get on track.” I’ve learned to let all that go and enjoy the zig-zags. If something doesn’t work out I’ve taught myself not to become attached to it. The only thing constant is change, after all. Becoming too goal oriented makes me miss out on the miracle of simply being alive. My number one priority is to be mindful while moving steadily toward a life of incrementally increasing peace and freedom.
Hi Alicia. Nice noticement: being too goal oriented has you miss out on life. I like that insight. Remember who you are; you are someone who came here to make your life a glorious adventure (you’re more than just a goal driven being). Blessings.
A brilliant read Rob, I can certainly understand the theme here – I used to be so adamant in my plans and my set ways, that anything that deviated from the ‘plan’ was an interruption and I should view it as having ruined my day.
But why should it ‘ruin my day’? Why not embrace it for the change that it actually is, and see where it leads me? I haven’t got life figured out – I don’t even know what’s going to happen in the next 6o seconds, let alone the rest of my life!
Life is a great mystery, but if we just let it be a mystery, and not try and solve all it’s riddles and tricks, then we’ll be better off for it
Hi Stuart. Nice tip: life is a mystery; don’t try to figure it all out (you can’t win, doing that). Understanding that one tip is everything (when it comes to being happy). Blessings
The truth is:
(1) Positive thinking alone cannot help you succeed – real thinking can and does help you succeed.
(2) When the mind is truly quiet (not filled with “I can do it … I can do it” chatter), the answers that come are truly accurate.
(3) Profitable efforts come from patient attempts – not from dogged persistence.
(4) Whether you’re aware of it or not, you have a permanent invitation from life, an invitation to win – so be aware of it.
Rob thank you for sharing the above truths with me..this was somewhat an about turn and eye opening perspective. I think it’s fair to say my life has had more zig zags than straight lines..but you know what, I wouldn’t have it any other way! If things are not a bit up and down, left and right…how do you even know your alive?
Hi Stacey. INDEED, a life that is only ‘up, up, up’, would be hell. HOW BORING! AND, how would you know you are ‘up’ if ‘down’ is not around to compare it to? Thank you for that insight. blessings.
I loved this Rob!
I am ready to not only read my invitation to win but I also want to get dressed for the event. In my journey to success my road is paved with many challenges, some are pot holes, some are detours, and others cause catastrophic engine failure. When reading articles like this you give me the inspiration to make sure I pack a spare tire, load my GPS and bring an atlas, and have my credit card to rent a car if necessary because I am going to get to my destination. When life hits me with it’s best shot. I want to be the guy who can get up from the devestating blow. I do this with two simple principles, faith & action. It looks really good on paper but takes a heck of a lot of practice to put into real life. Thanks for providing me with the mail. I’m glad I know to start looking for my invitation.
Hi Frank. You are being a ‘real thinker’, when you say “our best made plans look good on paper, but we’ve got to get up and take them into the world.” Realize that the truth is ‘feared at first’, because we’d all love to believe that the universe will take care of the details (we just have to dream the dreams). Well, as you know … ‘that just ain’t so’! The insight of knowing that ‘truth is feared at first’, enables us to know that what comes next is ‘the end of fear of the truth’. Think about that a moment, Frank. blessings
Maybe I’m one of the lucky ones Robby-boy… I’m always on target and ON my game SON!!! I’ve never thought much about zigzagging…… if something throws me off I don’t think twice and just keep on moving and groovn. I don’t get frustrated Im just like WHATEVER! I’m not wasting my time with this nonsense! It’s amazing how many haters are constantly trying to knock me down – just paying the cost to be the boss – ITS LONELY at the TOP!!! HAHAHA Winners don’t have time to be frustrated – either your serious about SHIZ or your CLOWNING AROUND. Most people just like the drama of struggling and fighting and feeling like everyone is out to screw them…. It must make em feel important or something. NOT ME BABY. I’m always on TRACK because I’m always ready to do what it takes…. I don’t care what comes up or tries to stop me (even the most slammin girl in the world couldnt tie me down these days)… Dudes just have to be willing to take on all the shiz that comes with being mad successful. Haters will hate because they cant keep me from WHEELING AND DEALING! I dont ZIG ZaGgy I FLoat like a butterfly and sting like a BAD ASS BEEE!!!! Thas my Motto! HAHHA You know what I’m talkn about…. ALI BABY! HOLLLA
Hi Magic. you’re a natural winner, Magic, if you just ‘get going’ when life throws you a curb ball. Seeing and dissolving self-doubt (when hit by life’s curb ball) is one of the best things anyone can do for himself. blessings
I just wrote about similar on another site where the blogger said that whilst trying to work diligently she was ‘distracted’ by a crane family right outside her window. They had had a new baby and Ma and Pa Crane were teaching the baby how to fly but Pa Crane kept ogling himself in the reflection of a truck and forgetting he had a flightless student to attend to.
I would drop work in a New York minute to watch this simply because it’s beautiful and I know it’s not quite what you mean but it’s similar. As an impatient self tyrant I have accepted that I can only do what I can do and life along with God will giggle at my attempts to control the uncontrollable.
Loved the post, adored the sketches, although I don’t /won’t / can’t agree with the second no.3. about profitable efforts.
Hi pea. Welcome. I love your crane story (I can fill in the details myself). I am glad you are honest about your thoughts on my blog. Being able to agreeably disagree is a gift. Spread it around; it’s what we need more of these days. Ordinary life puts pressure on all of us, why add to the pressure by disagreeably disagreeing when disagreeing? How’s that for a ‘zen statement’? Thank you
Hi Rob. In hindsight I can see that how I deal with frustrations is a good indication of whether or not I am doing something I love or doing something that is wrong for me. These days I enjoy the learning curve in my new business. I actually feel like I’m learning things along the way and it is exciting. When I was younger and just anxious and eager to make money and stroke my ego I could easily fly off the handle when things did not go well. I would blame everybody except myself. The result was a painful and rocky ride to the top – and when I got there I never really enjoyed the spoils of victory like I thought I would. I’m having much more fun enjoying this ride – the defeats are eye opening and victories are so much sweeter.
Hi Richard. YES, the ego will have us ‘fly off the handle’ when we get caught in a zig or a zag. No doubt about it. As you know, it’s a waste of good energy to ‘fly off the handle’. If you would rather be yourself your natural creative-self, not your ego-self), it’s wise to pause and choose another response (as you are pointing out). blessings
When you are in flow, there are no interruption. You’re wrong.
Hi Ken. Welcome. An elephant was led in front of a man who was afraid of elephants. When asked to look at the elephant, he said, “What elephant?” We must first see our weakness, then we can see our strength. When someone says, “you’re wrong.” Perhaps more is needed to see his weakness (so he can see his strength after that); me thinks thou doth protest too much. blessings
Hi Rob, I really enjoyed the metaphor in this post. It resonated with me because I used to sail when I was younger. So yes, it has never been a straight line. And very often, I landed in the water. I had to either figure out how to get back on or wait for rescue.
How has your blog affected my attitude? Well, I cannot quite put a finger to it LOL! Perhaps the best word for it is your energy. There is a certain jazz to the tone of your words. They have a way of uplifting souls from their sleep, kick their butt and inspire them into action.
I always almost end up feeling good after coming over to your site. It’s the antidote I need if I am feeling tired, sleepy or blocked. I come here to unwind and laugh, but at the same time, learn important lessons about life. Great work, Rob!
Hi Evelyn. Yes, sometimes the zig zags put us in the water, but when we don’t give value to suffering about it, inevitably we find our way out (as you know – being a sailor). It’s great to go through the temporary discomfort for making a miss-take, isn’t it Evelyn; it gives us an opportunity to learn something and try a re-take. Thank you for your uplifting comment. blessings
I totally get this one. Any little thing that throws me off track sends me into a tailspin. I’ve gotten better but I can still go down the road into rage. I used to be one of those guys that would throw my phone or punch holes in drywall (seriously). I would waste so much time just cooling off so I can get back to normal. I’m slowly adopting this new way of seeing the disturbances… it’ll happen … it’ll happen
Hi Ramone. YES, expect zig zags (they are part of life). On the other hand, the tailspin is something you add (tolerate it no longer!) If tailspin is to be, it is up to thee! blessings
Rob,
What I got from this is that no path to winning is necessarily the path that we can foresee (as our mind likes to build maps). The most popular belief in my head is that Point A (the start) to Point Z (the Finish) is in a straight and narrow path. Once veered from frustration sets and discouragement.
The sad thing is that I’ve had this framework in my mind although it’s never been my reality. I’ve never won anything in such a simple way (having no twists and turns throughout the journey).
This reminds me of a game my kids have Nintendo Wii where you have shoot an arrow at the target. When they first got the game they weren’t so good at it because they assumed that shooting straight at the target would get them the bulls eye. What they finally learned is that they have to adjust their pull and trajectory based on their distance and lateral position based on the wind. Once all of those things are in place, they can then let the arrow zoom to the target. Rarely are any two shots the same. And rarely do they hit the mark on the first shot. There are so many environmental variables that come into play that it’s impossible for them to foresee every obstacle – but still, they make adjustments…and get better and better at doing so.
Fabulous lesson you taught me here Rob. This is one I needed because all to often do I think I know the way things are supposed to go, and when they don’t I become frustrated and demotivated.
Thank you!
Hi Jk. I like to read what you write. Life can be loved, only when truly understood. You seek to understand; thus, you are liked by lots of folks out thre because you help others to understand life with your explanations. Read this five times – it is the key to your winning personality. Never, never, never let this quality demise, Jk. Thank you.