February 20th, 2011 by rob white
Here is a conversation that I recently had with a famous ex-rock star, who feels that he’s lost his sense of power in the world, that the world is insisting that he be who he no longer cares to be:
Teacher: Who’s living your life for you?
Student: Well, I never thought of it that way, I always thought that I lived my own life, but I’m not satisfied any longer with how things are turning out.
Teacher: Well, what makes you think the thoughts you think right now? … What happened that puts you in the moods that you don’t enjoy? Why do you say and do the things you do that you later regret?
Student: Obviously the world effect my moods, but my own attitude and point of view are a major part of it.
Illuminating tip: The capacity for becoming a new kind of person exists with in everyone … but first we must examine what causes us to be as we currently are.
Teacher: Where’d you get your viewpoint toward the world; toward everything in the world … like people, sex, god, money, health, politics, everything else?
Student: I learned a lot of it as a kid, and more of it as I grew up.
Teacher: Then, you’re saying that you acquired them; you’re saying that they’re not part of your original nature; would you agree?
Student: Yes, that’s logical.
Teacher: Then you are living according to the attitudes and viewpoints of others who passed their attitudes and viewpoints onto you?
Student: Well, certainly that’s true for a part of it.
Teacher: Then, can I assume that you are not living your own life entirely; that you are repeating what others taught you; so in a way, you are living the life they presented to you?
Student: Now that you say it that way, I cannot only assume this is true; I can see how it IS true.
Illuminating tip: A flower seed contains everything it needs to express as a beautiful flower; is it possible that you contain everything you need to express as a beautiful you? You cannot truly address this question until you notice that you’ve added unnecessary stuff to yourself (flower seeds don’t have the capacity to do this – perhaps that’s their blessing).
Teacher: What if some of these learned points of view and subsequent attitudes are wrong; what if they are stopping you from being able to recreate yourself anew; What if there is a ‘blossoming you’ just yearning to be nurtured, but to nurture it, you must unlearn the poor points of view and attitudes that you accepted as true?
Student: If that’s the case, then I’m paying a heavy price for a learned points of view.
Teacher: Do you want to pay that heavy price; must you continue to pay that price?
Student: Not at all!
Teacher: Why not?
Student: I can drop those points of view, if I’m really willing to.
Teacher: YES, since they are merely learned, you can unlearn them; you can toss them out like old, uncomfortable shoes that never fit right in the first place.
Student: Then, for the first time in my life, I will once again ‘hold title to my life’, like when a kid – I really got that it was MY LIFE! I love that idea; I’m ready.
Teacher: When you understand what it means to be loyal to your fundamental nature, and you learn how to ROAR about that – you receive incredible practical benefits.
Student: That’s funny, I never thought to pledge my loyalty to my fundamental nature; when do we being ROAR-ing?
Illuminating tip: The way to begin change is with light-hearted feelings of self-liberty; the little orange book that I am soon releasing will show you how to ROAR your way back to self-dependence (rather than world-dependence).
Now, lets take the conversation deeper … Please leave your comments on this conversation; AND, I encourage you to comment on each others comments … You will get notices via e-mail when this happens … this is what makes the lesson take effect in YOUR life.
blessings
Check out my contribution to The Great Life Philosophies E-book. Now available for a free download courtesy of Joe Wilner at Shake off the Grind
“Best Comment of the Week”. This weeks best comment comes from Rosemary from Offbeat Woman. The runner up is Marlee from Metamorphoself. See their comments here.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by quasar62, rob white. rob white said: NEW BLOG TODAY: Who’s Holding Title to Your Life? http://is.gd/b9Gbgp [...]
Rob,
The first thing that comes to my mind as I read this: as much as we can examine what causes us to be as we currently are, how often are we truly doing this?
And that reminds me that life is most definitely not about constantly doing (and “being busy”). When we do this, we become like that hamster on his wheel – going and going and going…except, to where?
Indeed, Lance, “how to think wisely in daily affairs”… so we aren’t just hamsters running foolishly on a wheel. At a certain place in self-development, a new way of thinking occurs. Welcome to the club! blessings
Whoa… right on man. People are really the same all over. We put people up on pedestals because they are famous or rich but at the end of the day we all fronted with the same questions. Glad to know your friend is dealing with the same questions I ask myself! I love the concept of “light hearted self liberty”. No matter who or where you are in life it is the only way to inner prosperity.
Good catch, Rus … light-heartedness is the path to learning (not grave concern). blessings
To be honest Rob, my answer is “fear.” Fear has been holding title to my life for too long. It’s keeping me from following heart and being who God has created me to be.
It’s time to trade fear for a new title – like growth!
Alex
Self-transformation occurs when we are honest with ourselves, Alex. I love your honesty … for then you will make new and valuable discoveries about yourself every day. Thank you
Thank you for sharing this conversation Rob. It’s nice hearing the testimony of others…it offers a reassurance that we’re not alone in our challenges in life. The playing field is leveled; the “world’s thought” can become our own no matter our economic status, religious following, race, interest or education. We learn how to learn as kids (and it continues through adulthood) which unfortunately takes away from our fundamental nature.
I think it’s a blessing to have view into this information; without it who knows how long many of us would have no clue, until maybe it’s too late to do anything about. I declare the reclamation of my fundamental nature.
Thank you again for the awesome conversation Rob. Blessings!
When we think deeply about NOT interfering with the natural flow of our being, Jk, then it is easy to go with the natural flow of life. Your deeper nature knows all of your worthwhile aims, and how to get you there easily, Jk. Life is enthusiastic about your change in attitude! blessings
You know, rob, I’ve missed a couple of your blogs and I regret it after reading this one. Damn, you’re good at this stuff! “Begin change with a light-hearted feeling;” now that’s so opposite from what we are taught to believe. We learn to get all uptight and then make changes. I love it when I learn why my past attempts have failed! I like the open mind on your rock star friend. I can tell by his remarks how he got to the top.
Nice to hear from you, Don. Yes, light-heartedness is the path to learning; not getting all serious and grave about matter. Being serious prevents us from hearing the good news of the day. blessings
I just had this conversation today with someone and you are right, these are learned perceptions. That means they can be unlearned and I’m glad for that. Gotta get back to my own “seed” and growing to my fullest potential. Thanks Rob. As always, good stuff.
If you want a real delight, Norlana, let the truth tell you all about your authentic self … then sit back and notice your delight! Welcome and blessings
Hi Rob. Sooo interesting. You would think a Rock Star would have it all and be happy. It just goes to show that we are all kind of looking for the same thing. I think it is a sense of peace and happiness. And we can never have that unless we really start to realize that we are like that flower seed. We have everything in us already, there is no need to add more and more. We all want to blossom as full as possible.
Wisdom, we get according to our willingness to give, and giving consists of giving up wrong ideas (like all famous people have it made). Nice catch! blessings
Hi Rob,
You make a great point. Where did we acquire our viewpoint and opinions from? We’re all products of our environment, but as you point out that may not be who we really are. I think we do need to examine our thoughts more closely to see whose opinions we’re really expressing.
, Angela, whose opinions am I expressing? Who’s doing my thinking for me? Enjoyment exists within the person who thinks for herself (himself); frustration exists in those who allows others to think for them. Thank you
Great Work. We have to live for ourselves. Who else can we live for? It takes the strong minded individual to conquer a world of worry and fear. And it all starts with being self-realized. Realizing, if it’s to be, it’s up to me.
AH, the old ‘if it is to be it is up to me” … I love it, jonathan; nice reminder.
The reason we can win the victory is because truth has total power over falsehood, and the truth is always available. blessings
This reminds me of some material I read referring to the concept of invalidation. It comes from a website called Trans4Mind. We do get pulled from pillar to post through our lives and lose a sense of true self to a greater or lesser degree. I believe confidence is have a degree of knowledge about our authentic selves.
This is a great anecdotal story that you have shared here. Thank you.
Anecdotal stories are powerful; thank you for noticing. When a person is right, his world is right because that person and his world are one, Marty. Indeed, knowledge of the original self makes us confident and right. Thank you.
I really get this one, Rob. There is no right way to do anything in this world. We all have to choose our own path and we have the right to change our mind. For some reason we get so locked into doing and being what we think everybody else wants us to do or be. To me, having title to my life means I can constantly re-create myself if I feel like it.
YES, John, the right to recreate oneself anew! …. always an option for human beings (a opposed to a wolf who can’t help itself (he must howl at the moon!) blessings
A question I had to ask myself a couple of years back when starting my own self-enquiry was, “Whose life am I living?”. To ask that at all was to know somewhere deep inside that it wasn’t all mine, being a co-opting of others thoughts, values, beliefs, fears, and right actions. Seperating the two has meant living free as me. So I applaud you Rob for encouraging people through the clever use of a one on one session story here to explore more about them and less about others and their influence beyond. Freedom often starts on the inside.
Indeed, john … freedom always is an ‘inside job’. As e.e. cummings said, “To dare to be myself, to be nobody but myself ….is the hardest battle any human can fight.” thank you
Rob,
The title of your post alone has me in deep reflection because a “title” deals directly with ownership. My hope is that I own my own life but as I learned from reading this discussion it is possible that I might not be. In pursuit of something greater than myself I hope to be a sacrifice and a servant to the people who need me. I hope never again to be a slave to whatever negative cirmcumstances may be preventing me from reaching my full potential.
Thanks Rob your posts are life changing.
When we serve ourselves rightly, Frank. we are in service to others who are in need of our help. There is only one of us in the room, one of us in the world, one of us in the universe. The TRUTH of ONENESS: what we do unto others we do unto ourselves … and what we do unto ourselves we do unto others. You are a vital turning pint my friend. blessings
Rob,
Thanks for sharing this exchange. Looks like you helped the guy get to the heart of his issues.
I bet we’d all be shocked to see how many of our thoughts and actions are actually based on the behaviors and assumptions that we glean from others.
It is truly liberating each and every time we detect this within ourselves, put an end to it, and chart our own course.
Great post my friend!
INDEED, Jason, charting one’s own course including form our mistake of believing others know what’s best for us (often a subconscious belief). When we see the real reason for doing anything (because it’s our genuine wish to do it), we end our slavery to others. blessings
Hi Rob,
The idea of my “true nature” or “true self” is really something I have been working to grasp over the past year. I do believe we are all made to flourish and not flounder in the world. The knowledge of this concept in itself has offered me amazing confidence and courage. I still find it difficult to push past ingrained beliefs and self-imposed limitations at times. But overall, I can more easily grasp empowering beliefs and have been able to decide what I want to believe instead of accepting beliefs from others. Thanks for the great post Rob!
You speak from your heart, Joe … such a gift to others. We are here to flourish, not flounder … YES. When we can mix fire with water (which we cannot). then we can mix the healthy truth (flourish) with harmful notions (flounder). Otherwise, why try. blessings
Like Frank pointed out the big word there is “Title.” When we don’t pay attention we wake up one day to discover we are living for everybody else. It’s never too late to wake up that. The hard part is most of the time we think we are doing things under our own volition but are really a bit deluded. We convince ourselves we are free when really we are at the beck and call of this bitch of a world.
Confusion has no real power, Georgie, and clarity is omnipotent; you are discovering that – it shows with your comments. thank you
Hi Rob,
I’m on board with the idea that “The capacity for becoming a new kind of person exists with in everyone”. Like the seed, we have the potential and everything we need already in place to uncover our potential. I’d say we have the potential to be who we already are deep down without needing to be a new kind of person. I see it as an exercise in awareness. Learning to becoming aware of our true nature and true potential.
Thanks for this beautiful post full of gems. Loving blessings.
The new kind of person we become is the ‘genuine self’ Andrea … which indeed is really ‘not new’. The experience of newness is when we awaken from amnesia (having forgotten our authentic nature), by dropping the false self that we created when listening to the 60,000 NO’s we receive from age 2 to 6. We create this false self in reaction to fear and pain (we will do anything to please the no-sayers and be accepted … ah the fear of rejection!). Nice noticement, Andrea. blessings
Oh my yes. I’m beginning to see all this clearly. At least he “wasted” his life being a Rock Star – haha. It really is the same feeling I have about my choices in life. I am bit resentful because I feel I was forced into a job just so I could pay bills and feed my family. I never did get to do what I really wanted. I see I just repeated what my father did. Well enough is enough! That’s why I starting to make big changes… thanks rob.
Soon, Roger, you will have the relief of not needing to anxiously ask who you are or what your life is about … you’ve come a long way! blessings
Powerful, powerful stuff Rob. You really have a gift of asking questions so as to induce self-discovery on the part of the student. In reality though, we can ask these same questions to ourselves—especially if we are the ‘observer’.
The past anchors so many of us down and keeps us from spreading our true wings. Learning to shed away these false identities/teaching/etc is often one of the great keys to inner peace.
Well done Rob, this was great.
Marcus
Destructive falsehood has a great way of covering up the constructive truth, Marcus. When helping others with their personal self-discovery, my job is to help them notice their destructive falsehoods. Thanks for noticing
This is good one for me because I get resentful of people who I think have it all. I’m starting to realize EVERYONE has their own cross to bear. It is just part of the game of life I guess. I think I’m learning to become compassionate! ha ha. how about that! My own anger subsides when I stop comparing myself to everybody else – I’m on my own journey of finding me Authentic Self too.
When you find your authentic self, Ramone, it will be unlike anything you have known since you were age two! blessings
I like this Rob. I don’t think we are ever done growing and changing. I’m always amazed at people who go through career changes later in life. I always thought that takes a ton of courage. Careers are great example of feeling like we are only one thing for the rest of our lives. But you don’t have to scratch very deep to realize the insanity in that!
In order to be in command of our exterior world, Carol Anne, we must triumph over our interior world of opinions and emotions. blessings
Hi Rob, there is a ton of valuable wisdom behind this dialogue. Sincerely pondering the fact that all our viewpoints about the world are simply made up is enough to startle anyone awake. Really understanding this allows us tremendous freedom to do what we want in this life. When I was young sailing came quite naturally to me simply because I was surrounded by the environment. Now the real challenge is reaching beyond that. Those uncharted waters can be quite scary even for the saltiest of old dogs.
When the world can convince you that a false belief is a fact, Salty, it has you where it wants you (subservient). blessings
It’s funny how the thing we THINK we most desire is the thing that causes us the most suffering. I am happiest when I look up at the trees and the blue sky and realize there is nothing to achieve. It’s nice to delight in the fact that we are whole and perfect as we are. We have to remember to be awake and aware of our daily duties. As long as we enjoy our path we have title to our lives… I pledge to never give that up again! Thanks Rob.
Never tolerate any voice that scorns you when your actions fail, Alicia, but begin again with fresh energy. You are getting this! blessings
Great post! People worry to much of what someone may think and this holds them back for being there true self.
What does worry me a little these days is when I hear a parent tell a child, don’t do this you could get hurt, etc. and then that could make you sick there are germs on that. As a parent you are teaching your child fear of the world and trying new things. Yes, we have to protect our children, but there is a line where you have to let them learn and have fun without fear.
Look at the great people in this world they didn’t worry about what someone would say or think they followed there heart. Take from society what will help you grow as a person, and through the rest away!
Thanks for bring this point to everyone attention Rob.
Debbie
unpleasant voices are simply coming from those who obey unpleasant voices that were handed to them; you’re noticement of this helps stop the problem, Debbie. Thank you for your input.
Rob, reading about the flower seedling makes me think about the innovative ways we create things with simple raw materials. And in a way, we are like raw materials — we’re born with everything that we need. We have choices presented to us as we grow, to enhance our basic qualities and all our gifts. Within each of us resides authenticity and we can tap into it whenever we want if we’re willing.
Voices that discourage our creative nature sneak into our heads through absent-mindedness, Belinda. They then sneak away, waiting for the next chance to sneak in. You are aware of them – POWERFUL. blessings
Yo whaxz UPP ROBBO. Damn SON! A real live ass ROCK STAR??! You got some connections.. I kNow it. We got to talk Business one of these days!!! HAHHAHAHA!!! As to the BLOG: I KNOW myself and don’t let ANYONE pass their weak-ass opinions on to ME. I’m rocking out ALL the time. The only time I ever get low is because I hold myself to AWESOMENESS all the time and sometimes don’t meet MY standards. I like what your saying. We can’t let dumb-ass people wreck our inner ROCK STAR….. PEACEEE OUTT G!! KEep ROCKN and ROARN ROBBB
You are quick a catching those harmful thought-voices that try to destroy your spirit, Magic, and you refuse to listen to their messages … I can see that. NICE. blessings
Hi Rob,
Very excellent article! To grow, we have got to take responsibility for our life and overcome the learned “habits” that we acquired by others. We have got to listen to people who encourage us, not discourage us. Each one of us has great potential… Thanks for sharing my friend
Negative thought-voices tremble when you look at them as nothing but useless habits, Dia. You can see this (it shows in your comments). blessings
Hi Rob,
I agree fear holds me back when I need to make a change and don’t. Or maybe it’s the outcome I fear. Coming into even more of my own power. Thanks for an awareness reminder.
Millions love the internal voice that stops them from advancing, Tess; why would they listen to it so often? blessings
Hey Rob, It really wakes me up when you say that we have everything within us already. I’ve spent so much of my life trying to acquire more and more. Whether it was money, homes, a girlfriend or even the best parking space. I was totally caught in the game if I ADD more I will feel better. To think that we have to RID ourselves of that stuff is a paradigm shift. Thanks as always.
The real riches, found buy our communication, is our recovered essence, Richard (how rich is that!) blessings
As I began to grow older I soon found that it was my family that held the title to my life. I was living off of their faith, beliefs and ideals. I had to decide and come to hold those titles on my own – when I went out and faced the real world. I’m happy to report – that I’ve held up those titles, alongside my parents. In essence – they were right all along.
[...] It was a blind spot that I simply needed to be made aware of, and once I became aware of it I was able to embrace what I needed to work on and what would really improve my life. [...]