August 24th, 2010 by rob white
Human beings are teleological beings – we are all goal seeking beings. Those who take their goal seeking seriously – achieve their aspirations and aims. Those who don’t take their goal seeking seriously, find tomorrow showing up pretty much the same as it did yesterday.
Even today, I can find myself pretending to be up to something (imagining I am setting out to achieve an aspiration that interests me), but making little progress. There is a correcting fact that I must accept: I am fooling myself – the reality of the situation is that I am lost, pretending I know where I am going. This fact can penetrate a stubborn mind about as easily as ivy can penetrate a brick wall. I still find myself sometimes living with a stubborn mind!
Are you willing to admit that you have been insincere with yourself about your intent to achieve an outcome that you claim you are passionate about? A chief interest of an unawakened mind is lack of interest in looking at the truth.
And yet… it is the truth that will set you free of any insincerity that knocks you off course.
I made a new friend on Friday; his name is Jay. Jay co-owns his own ReMax real estate office and has aspirations of developing an incredibly successful real estate business. Jay is very passionate about what he intends to do. He is clear and is willing to do what it takes to create himself to be the right person to do it. Willingness is vitally important whenever we decide to start a new business or set an aim that is different from the usual.
I can spot an insincere goal seeker quite quickly because I was one for many years. Jay asked me to help him spot his faults so that he could correct them and waste no time moving toward his goals. Jay is intensely sincere about creating himself in a new fashion; creating a ‘new Jay’ that empowers him to take effective outer action while making efficient inner decisions. You cannot have one without the other.
I inquired, “Do you really want me to help you notice any thought patterns or habits of behavior that are slowing you down?”
Jay responded, “Of course I do, that is why I am sitting here with you.”
Just the way that Jay responded proved to me that he was not inquiring with idle curiosity. Willingness and flexibility are essential if anyone is to elevate his consciousness above his old ways of seeing things.
All growth, including business growth is always an inside job – it always begins on the inside. If Jay intends to create a business that soars, Jay must create an attitude of mind that thrives even in ‘testing times’. Life is always testing us. It’s called the school of hard knocks – learn from it and you win… resist it and you flounder.
It matters not if the external environment is rich with rewards, if your internal environment of thoughts and emotions are impoverished – you will flounder. On the other hand, it matters not if the external environment is going through what seems to be ‘hard times’, if your internal environment is flourishing with rich supportive opinions and inspiring ideas, you will gather the worldly riches that you seek. Life is never here to stop you – it is just here to test you. DO YOU MEAN IT?
ARE YOU REALLY SINCERE ABOUT ACHIEVING YOUR ASPIRATIONS?
Sometimes I will say to folks, “I wish I could tell you a thousand times that you must first study your internal environment (belief system, highly cherished opinions, and your tendencies), before you can approach the world with an efficient and effective action plan. So many people think that they just need to charge forward like a crazed bull to get the job done.
Jay understands that it is highly intelligent of him to study himself in an objective manner so that he may change what needs changing about himself in order to achieve his aspirations without a lot of undue struggling.
- What aspiration and aim have you watched become an idle wish?
- What was your excuse to yourself for letting it go?
- Did you assume the world was too big for you to handle?
- Did you ever assume that it was your internal environment that was stopping you?
- Are you willing to be rigorously honest about subtle ways that you self-sabotage?
- Will you share a little about how you recreated yourself anew in order to achieve something that the old you was incapable of achieving?
The insights needed for inward sunshine is freely available to those who are tired of living in a cloudy internal mental environment.
If you want to gain clarity on your mental environment, consider purchasing my book, 180. Now only: $19.95 + S&H
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Check out my (Edgy Guru) interview with Hulbert Lee: The Strange Pleasures of Depression and How to Move Past This Phase
Be sure to check out my interview with Tess Marshall on her amazing blog The Bold Life; a delicious and juicy mix of inspiration, spirituality and personal development.
PLEASE NOTE: The winner of this weeks “Best Comment of the Week” will receive an absolutely free copy of 180. Last weeks best comments came from Sylvia and Joe Wilner (Shake off the Grind). Thank you all for our great contributions. See their comments here here.
Hi Rob,
“Yes, I am passionate about learning to ski, but not today because is too cold to be outdoors; but tomorrow you’ll see how motivated I am”
It seems so easy to say “I’m passionate about…” it becomes really easy to get locked in a circle that goes nowhere, only to feel frustrated by the lack of results.
When we stop lying, we start moving.
Great advice Rob, thank you
Raul
Nice noticement, Raul. YES, it is easy to say “I’m passionate about….” But, so many folks stop right there. This is why computer games and television watching are so popular – so many folks say they are passionate and stop right there.
Ha ha. I love the simplicity of that explanation Mr. Ghost. I tricked myself I was passionate about Mountain Climbing. The birds, trees nature, the great outdoors blah, blah. I finally realized the truth is that I love the city and hate bugs (funny how we fool ourselves). I know I’m passionate about nightlife. I have no problem going out for a good time!
Rob,
I really like this post. This about true personal development. We have cultivate the inside before we are ready for the big responsibilities and aspirations from the outside. I connect this to being a leader. A leader must first develop the necessary character traits to be effective. Taking on a leadership role before this could be counterproductive. Sometime we just need to be patient while we develop. Which is not any easy task. Thanks for the mention by the way!
I love your mentioning ‘leadership’, Joe. YES, a leader must first know how to lead himself (his thoughts, his emotions, his tendencies) before he is going to be able to lead anyone else. So many folks think, ‘give me a whistle … I’ll show you how to lead’. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT! Thanks, Joe.
You ask some searching questions Rob, but that’s good because plenty of us won’t do that. We are all adept at seeking surface success but never delve into enough self-enquiry to see if our aims and aspirations match our values, ethics and standards. Your challenges in this post acts as a mental mentor to get to what’s real to unearth underneath our real goals for our authentic selves. Let me thank you for that. Your voice talks to our inner voice which starts communication which always breaks down walls and builds rapport and connection….with ourself. Then we are speaking the language of eventual success. To yours always Rob!
Seeking surface success has tomorrow and tomorrow come at us at the same steady pace to the end of time (as Shakespeare points out). Thank you for pointing that out, John. We are here (on planet earth) to experience our ‘unlimitedness’, which requires that we commit to more than vain repetition of empty aspirations (aspirations void of passion). Nice comments, John.
Hey Rob,
This was a very enlightening. I also believe the Universe puts up what we perceive to be as roadblocks to test us too. It tests are fortitude and our commitment to achieving the goal we say we want. There are so many physicists proving that we are creating our reality each and every minute. Reality doesn’t exist except for the fact that we’ve collectively dreamed it into being, so why not dream up the reality we desire instead?
Thoughts and visions rule the world, Angela. But, it is not as easy as we wish. The world (and everything in it) is a manifestation of an idea. The question is –
‘what is our subconscious mind thinking about?’ Until we get the subconscious to align with our aspirations, life is a struggle. Most folks ‘wish’ one way, but hold a very different (impoverished) point of view, subconsciously. Therein is where the work lies.
Hi Rob,
I really admire the way you cut to the core…for that is where *it* all is–the core…I agree with Angela’s comment as well..
At this stage of life, I know now that I create my world..with my thoughts, my ideas, my vision..I create moment by moment. In the moments I find I am struggling that is because I am resisting something–allowing fear to step in..When I embrace, life is full of ease and wonder, a natural flow to it all. I also know if I am not ‘succeeding’ at something it is because I have chosen not to…I used to self sabotage–get so close I could almost feel ‘it’ then allow a barrier to stop me. I would tell you, yes I would like A, but my internal self would think I wasn’t worthy, or it was impossible, or any number of criticisms I had heard in my life..and of course A never happened. It took a while to address and heal that..and now life is as grand as I allow it to be..
You speak well, Joy. The proof is always in the pudding. In reality, yes indeed, you are an angel of light … a thought wave of the infinite (with all the power of the infinite). and then there is the ‘human you’… the ‘you’ that entertains troubling ideas. The trouble with one troubling idea is that it attracts a dozen more. I’ve had that happen many a time! The secret to success is disciplining the mind – drip, drip, drip, one thought at a time. Thank you for your input.
Dear Rob, This is really good! It made me think of when I committed to my book, “Naked in Eden”, about my life in the Australian rainforest (when I younger), I had to get really clear on whether this was what I wanted, and was REALLY going to do. For me, that meant that if it WAS what I wanted then that also meant that I would not stop when I had set backs, or things didn’t go the way I wanted. That meant that I would not stop when I started to feel “uncomfortable” when the dream really DID take off.
Often when we move closer to our dreams we can consciously or unconsciously find ways and thoughts to sabotage ourselves as we move into never before experienced territory. We rarely fear failure, but rather we fear success because it can mean HUGE change. Our whole perception of ourselves (that we may have clung to all our lives) can be challenged. We are often taken into areas of ourselves that we’ve avoided, or that we fear, areas where we are called to grow.
I often felt like I was being tested. Recognizing this helped to see it as a wonderful challege, like a new mountain to climb – could I do it? I also felt that it really wasn’t about my book, etc. It was about me growing, could I “go where Robin had never gone before?”
Could I get my mind in such a complete place of commitment that no matter what events swirled around me in my external world, I remained 100% commited to my dream, which meant being committed to myself. And I also remained forever watchful for emotions and old thinking that might want to keep me “nice and safe” in my comfort zone, which of course would be the death of me.
I also had to honestly look at my options, and honestly ask myself even if I give this up will the dream stop in my heart, or will it linger in a corner of my heart, sad, angry, because I never had the courage to live it? And I knew that if it lingered, then I sure as heck better get in and LIVE it because if I didn’t, I would never be able to live with myself.
Thank you Rob for giving me the chanve to explore this. (It’s been a long journey, but my book is out Sept 1. And it’s only one dream. There are so many more that I move toward one step at time.)
Hugs to you,
Robin
PS I also REALLY admire your friend. What an amazing soul!
The battle with self-sabotage is an ongoing one, Robin. The ego is clever; cut off one arm and it grows seven more. I love your life-lessons. Good luck with your book. I just sold the magic 20,000 copy of my book … now the force of accelerating acceleration kicks in! blessings, rob
Ohhh good one Rob. I love it. You have me digging deep today. I have really learned what it takes to get my business to the next level. I can say all your tips have kept me on track. I still can get discouraged, like its too hard or the competition is too solid. But I have an edge that most don’t: I KNOW that I am sincere and the only thing that can really stop is my own lazy thinking.
I think if we set goals for ourselves, we can reach it. Not only that, but goals drive us. Without a goal, we wander. We become wandering generalities rather than meaningful specifics like Zig Ziglar always said. God rest his soul. It’s about finding a purpose that drives you. Setting up a goal and never giving up until you reach it. Quite the cliche’ but it wouldn’t be if people realize how powerful and real this ideology is. Great post ROB! You never cease to amaze me!
Thank you Jonathan for your addition to the blog. Nice comment about the wandering mind that is goal-less. Imagine standing at the edge of the ocean and watching a ship pass by. There is no problem until you begin thinking about the ship (begin judging it). Become acquainted with your mind and notice how it wants to judge everything… even the goals you give it. When you can still the mind, you can manifest your dreams in no time. Stilling the mind is a life-time art. The mind’s jumping monkey nature is not quickly tamed. blessings.
Wonderful post Rob!
I have been contemplating similar ideas a lot lately. I think that it has been and always is (at it’s root) fear that holds me back. But I’m learning how to recognize that fear and rather that trying to force it to go away, I know now that I have to move forward despite the fact that it’s there.
Thank you!
Fear is a big one, Jenny. Under the influence of fear, Hitler went out and tried to conquer the world. He ended up with bitterness, tension, rage and suicide as his final destination. That’s an extreme … but it is a great example of how insane fear can make us. Thank you.
I think at times we all are dreaming up something and until we see something that we can measure to feel a bit of attaining our goal we are weary and feel lost. We second guess ourselves and are unable to stay focused until we hit a point of what you speak of being sincere with ourselves.
Internally we must wrap our arms around what we want to do and then look for ways to create opportunity. Opportunity to meet new people, the opportunity listen to and engage our target and also people who will help to keep us focused. In business esp in social media it is not a one man game.
@SuzanneVara
Yes, Suzanne, joining hands with others (forming master mind alliances) is a powerful tool … and learnin”g to exercise our power of will by focusing the mind is the law and art of life. “He who would be master of himself shall win it, if he bravely strives.” – Bhagavad-Gita
that’s true Rob
a person needs to look inside first in order to be able to achieve outside goals
YES, Farouk …. an idea about success is not success until we search deep within to find the resources we need to succeed. Thank you
Jay sounds like my sort of guy. That’s what grabs me about this whole conversation. I’m not interested in touchy feely high falutin’ conversation. I’m interested because I really want to make my shot before I check off the planet. I have to be honest about my self-sabotaging ways because I have the drive, intellect and passion to get results… but something happens and I see to come up short sometimes. I’m riled up today.
Hi Rob
I heard someone say that if you want to grow as a person – set up your own business. I hadn’t thought about it before but it is very true. If you want to succeed with a business you need to have deep resources of courage and self belief. The more responsible you are for yourself the more likely you are to act rather than complain. Success comes from action.
Thank you for a thought provoking post.
YES, Marion … self-dependency is key to creating your life as you want it to be. Where do people go wrong? When they ‘hope’ that there are outside powers that will do the job for them. Blessings
How true Marion. I don’t know if I would have started my own business if I knew I would have had to grow THAT much.
Ha ha… Seriously it one of the best decisions I have made. Yes it is a ton of work — but that is the PASSION. I don’t think of it as hard work though. I’m just following a passion!
Hey Rob, great post. I leave here with this piece of wisdom from you: “Life is never here to stop you – it is just here to test you.”
When doing any undertaking with hopes of getting to the next level, brutal honesty really goes a long way. Those who sincerely want to make it to the next level, to the finish line, need to be open to what they’re doing that can be improved upon, and the ego doesn’t always take this well.
Thanks, as always, for telling it like it is.
Thank you for your encouragement that I tell it like it is, Belinda. Some call me the edgy guru because I do not hide the truth. The truth shall set you free if you relate to it in an empowering way. Here is a truth of great value especially for you Belinda = ‘Chains of unhappiness are easily broken when we see they have no power’. Blessings
Hi Rob,
Wow where to start, I’ve had quite a few that’s been clouding my vision lately. But mostly distractions in that that has been slowing down my progress.
I think as long as I keep a clear schedule written down, my goals and visions should slowly but surely come to reality.
Thanks for sharing your story about your new friend, Jay
It works to keep schedules to keep the mind on track, Parker Lee. AND, turning spontaneously in a new direction opens new life-scenes which can make the trip much easier. T’is a delicate balance.
Hi Rob,
Very excellent post! I agree with you that it is all about our internal environment of thoughts. We have to work on our beliefs and convince our subconscious mind of whatever we want to accomplish and achieve. If we have fear, disbelief, etc…that we are not going to succeed, then this is exactly what we will get. Thanks for sharing Rob
You offer wonderful life-principles with your comments, Dia … ‘a principle installed into a focused mind brings forth rich fruit’. Thank you.
Rob,
What a great read! I loved your interview at Tess’s and Hulbert’s (latest one), Great job.
many of us think we are passionate about something but we lack, time, encouragement and sometimes proper guidance. I always say, there is no such thing is being busy, is something is truly important to you, you will make time for it. I hope Jay is making time for what he believes in.
I suspect that you make time for what you believe in, Preeti. When we give our inspiring beliefs time – our creative side is able to do more to support us than we can rationally understand. Blessings,
Hi Rob,
Here is a story about myself and my grandduaghter: She couldn’t take her drivers test because she couldn’t parallel park due to fear of hitting the car in front of where she wanted to park.
I took her out for a drive and asked what her problem was. She told me her fear and also asked me why it was so easy for her friends to parallel park on their first try. I said, “Because they don’t have your fear!”
I then told her to pretend I would give her a million dollars if she parallel parked perfectly on the next try. Guess what she did…
You are a marvelous story-teller, Tess, and your stories drive home an essential point very effectively. Thank you for that.
I am passionate about freeing people from their own suffering and allowing them to experience the peace and joy of each moment which they have absolute access to.
So many times my mind and emotions pop up suggesting all sorts of ways of making money or playing around in another area of life. But what a lot of these things are just safe explorations that don’t require me to fully express my true self. They allow me to hide and protect myself. Dropping them away I get back to my true cause one that seems to always be there at the core.
Thanks for your time.
Might I be the edgy guru who is rigorously honest for the sake of G&D (Growth & Development) Jarrod? The reason you are passionate about freeing folks from their suffering and helping them to get to that place of peace – is because you want it with all of your heart and soul. What we teach we want to learn deeper. What we give away we want to be able to keep. What we share, we want to keep around in our own lives. It is life’s way of seeing to it that we help one another in a right way. What you do for others, indeed you do for yourself. I appreciate you noticing that you will do things that do not really have you putting all of yourself into life – we all know what that is like. Thank you.
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Hey, glad you are back online Rob. I needed my fix of wisdom before heading into the weekend! So”unds like Jay is a winner. He has a powerful friend in you Rob… I know I “MEAN IT since I started my 180 trip. I’m moving right along with the plumbing license. What once seemed like too much work and out of reach is now right around the corner. I’m feeling pretty good this friday. and I know it is because I am right on track
So very well put.
I tend to be an optimist, or a pragmatic pessimist, so I always check myself against “the way things are,” “the way things should be,” and “the way I want things to be.”
> willing to do what it takes
That is so key. I think the magic formula is:
- wanting the results (the grass isn’t greener)
- knowing what it takes (including trade-offs)
- willing to do what it takes
I seriously appreciate the value of “knowing what it takes” now. Doing project management for a bunch of years taught me that know-how makes a huge difference (work breakdown structures are the secret sauce of effective PMs.) Projects are actually the secret sauce of change. After all, one of the cutting questions of every project is “how will the world be different when you’re done?”
Nice comment, J.D. There is a lot of wisdom in it. YES, ‘chunk it down’ is essential – baby steps guarantee progress. also, when we set ‘projects’ … we pro-ject (we toss out into the future a vision of an accomplished outcome), nd then advance to make it so. Great advice. Thanks
I enjoy your candor Rob. I got to understand my own mind tricks when I wanted to ride a horse. I was terrified to be close to one and facing my own self-deception helped me. When we stop deceiving ourselves, we discover the truth. I am still sorting through my mind with horses, but the courage to succeed began with eliminating generalized thinking concerning horses. I keep setting small goals with horses, but have no real intention to become a professional. Now you have me asking what is my goal? At first it was to overcome my fear. Now I ride and enjoy them. My goal is to keep stepping out of my comfort zone with the horses. I keep moving forward and I think that expanding a comfort zone with a horse is unlimited. My goal is to continue learning and expanding, as I study my mind while working with them.
I love your ‘horse’ example, Sandra. I did not imagine that about you. I love being surprised. Every day that you attempt to see new life-lessons that your ‘horse experiences’ are offering you – is a great day! Thank you.