August 28th, 2010 by rob white
We (Nick and I), have someone giving us a hard time with our website – causing viruses that we’ve had to clean up twice in the past few weeks. Why are so many folks so uptight these days that they spend their time in damaging ways?
Karen C. asked me, “How can I be at ease with people when so many people are complaining about the economy, terrorists, and the general malaise that prevails with the oil spill, global warming and what not?”
I responded, “Thank you Karen; that’s a great inquiry and I appreciate your passionate curiosity.” I went on to say, “Think of someone that you love being with and that you want nothing from … perhaps a grandparent, a child or even a pet. Notice the ease that you feel when you are with this person or pet. Tension occurs when you want something from your family or friends or from your neighbors or strangers, or from the government or your religion or even the planet. You feel that this outside agent can give you something that you need, but you fear it won’t happen.”
Pause… pause… pause…
Take a moment, now, to think about this:
- What if you felt that you had the personal power to take care of all of your needs…. would you be feeling tense?
- What if you felt that the ‘cosmic boomerang’ never failed you, and if you were willing to give away what you wanted (money, love, harmony in worldly affairs, encouragement to help others be successful , feelings of security by believing that others are far more capable than they imagine) that it would come back to you multiplied … would this not make you feel at ease with everyone … with the world?
Tension does not occur when you ask for a cup of coffee and have the money to pay for it. There is a sense of inner security that allows you to ask, expecting to receive.
What are you asking for in your life right now that you are fearful you will not receive? Who are you blaming – the government, God, your spouse, your boss? Is there really any outside power that can determine your fate?
The whole world seems to be in frantic pursuit of things from the world … without the slightest idea that all sowing begins on the inside. By seeing that whatever you desire … is available … when you truly believe that you have what it takes to cause it to happen; when you believe this, you turn your creative energies in the right direction (not the wrong direction like sabotaging my website!) Ha Ha.
There is only one way possible to banish tension – through knowledge of the entire ‘process of giving’ so that we may receive. You can stop feeling threatened by the world when you know that your ‘personal model of reality’ determines the world you experience. Work on making your inner kingdom rich with prosperous thoughts of gratitude and appreciation … that is Vital Step 1. If you do not take this internal Vital Step I, promise you that your outer kingdom of events and things will not offer you what you desire.
Johnny. is a very successful real estate salesman that really loves finding the right and perfect home for his customers. Johnny appreciates his customers. He gets to know them and even invites them to enjoy a barbecue with him and his family (in his backyard). He means it! John earned over $250,000 in commissions four years ago when the market was red hot and he earned $250,000 in commissions last year when the market was stone cold. How’d he do that? Hmm. You tell me.
Please leave your comments to help others with this inquiry about tension and how it affects you … and what you have found that has rescued you from such anxious feelings. Why do you feel tense about your life right now? What specific change of mind has helped relieve you of your tension? Perhaps you have not resolved your tension – ask questions so we can help you.
Blessings and thank you, thank you, thank you!
PLEASE NOTE: One winner of the “Best Comment of the Week” will receive an absolutely free copy of 180. This weeks grand prize winner is JD Meier from Sources of Insight. The runner up was Suzanne Vara. Thank you all for your great contributions. See their comments here here.
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Thank you Rob for addressing such an important question. I think that as more of us begin to understand the solutions to these questions, we will begin to heal so many of the problems plagueing the world these days.
I have found acceptance of what is in this moment, and gratitude for what I do have to be the ultimate solution to tension in my life.
I don’t accept with resignation. I’m not throwing my hands in the air and declaring anything to be hopeless. I accept what is in this moment and work to take steps to create change witht the realization that I might not always be successful, but what I will learn will be what I most need to learn.
Thank you again.
You have given wonderful suggestions on how to handle any kind of situation with perfect poise. Your suggestions point to the importance of attending one’s inner life. If the sailor does not carry with him an inner compass, he could not explore new oceans with a feeling of security. Thank you
Rob,
Thanks for the intriguing post. I feel that there is less tension in life at this point, but there is still areas where I feel I must apply force and push through resistance. There are always things that don’t go as planned, and or to take longer to develop than expected. This is the main area of any tension in my life – having strong desires that seem to be just out of reach or take too long. Patience is a virtue and can be tough to master when it comes to life achievement. There is a fear that if something isn’t done NOW, or immediately, than the idea will be too late in coming. Even when there is concrete progress it’s hard to feel like things are coming together soon enough. Developing the essential faith to pursue your dreams can be a difficult task. Any advice on becoming more patient with goals and pursuits? Thanks!
You are a very generous soul, Joe. You share your struggles so that we all may learn. I appreciate this (we all do). As you continue to make your mind more intelligent with your sincere inquiries, you drop the pretenses that cause you tension, strain and anxiety when things are not working as you hoped. What pretenses? Remain rigorous with your self-investigation; you will be startled at what you reveal to yourself about yourself.
Dear Rob,
My very fave sentence in a great post: “You can stop feeling threatened by the world when you know that your ‘personal model of reality’ determines the world you experience”.
I notice the negatives that are common conversations around me and I focus on another reality (especially when it comes to the overall state of the world talk).
We often, I feel, become so “busy” at our daily lives that we become tense too. For myself, it’s important to stop and become curious about how I choose to spend my time and what I choose to focus on.
This way, I can quickly come back into balance if I get a bit off track. On track is embracing joy-filled aliveness, or at least being real.
May the sabatoging fairies move on quickly!
Warm regards,
Lauren
Your revelations and appreciations show a very natural side to you, Lauren (that is fun to know). your naturalness happens all by itself; you don’t have to effort to express it. This is a wonderful gift you share (along with your insights) …. thank you
Rob, tension and stress you say? This morning, after an already rough start, I walked out, locked the garage door shut behind me and realized I have no keys. My best friend/neighbor was out and my hubby 45 minutes away – I panicked, I called him, I didn’t know what to do – then after 5 minutes, I decided: Fine, I am going to miss the 2nd class I was trying to go to that day (for cycling), my hubby is a few minutes out so i closed the garage and rolled out the only other thing I had with me; My yoga mat and had the best stretches followed with the deepest meditation practice of my little young yoga career! Believe this? Unbelievable to me
! I gotta turn it into a blog story. Thank you for talking about tension. I am always getting better but it is a never-ending journey!
Your description of the garage door incident, Farnoosh, is a perfect example of the statement – ‘when the heart frets for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found’. What you decided to do is a great way to turn mistake into a marvelous re-take. Than you for your tip.
That’s a great story, Farnoosh. You are doing what I now try to do when things go awry for me. Something like that would put me into a tailspin and throw off my whole day. Now, I can usually turn myself around. But it has been a tough transition for me. I feel that tension all the time. The difference now is that my tension doesnt control me. I can (usually) let it go by looking for the positive in it and not making a dramatic ordeal out of the problem. I now tell myself that my problems and tension are blessings in disguise
> Tension occurs when you want something
Beautiful precision and so true.
As you say, you can take away the tension, when you better fill your own needs. Related to that, you can also reduce tension, when you take away the threat … a common pattern in interpersonal conflict … sometimes just asking the question, “What’s the concern?” … get a lot out on the table, and then you can deal with it. Take away the threat, and the air clears up fast, and then it’s way smoother sailing ahead.
You are on target today, aren’t you J.D. I love what you offered to help the rest of us deal with our tension. You wrote this blog from a skillful mind – pay attention to when you are awake (like this), and take the time to appreciate your psychic state. Blessings
Rob,
Tension. Yep, I’ve sure felt it. And for me, I’m finding that meditation is something that works well as reducing that. Especially when I make that a daily practice, when I start my day that way – the moments where I might have typically felt an increased tension in the past…they just aren’t quite so bad.
I also find nature to be very therapeutic in this as well, and work to get out into her beauty as much as I can…
Then, what you are saying, Lance, is that we release tension when we permit ourselves to be our natural selves (through meditation and relating to nature – like a walk in the park). NICE. Self-transformation comes when we want it … doesn’t it, Lance? And you want it. (I can see that). Thank you
Hi Rob,
I feel tension when I am resisting something..so I release the resistance, use affirmations and allow for miracles to be placed into my life. For example, this last week, my car did not pass the state smog test and my boat had to be scheduled for an unexpected liveaboard inspection on a paycheck that had been cut in half due to slow work flow at my full time job..My first thoughts were tense..but: I let go of ‘should’s’ and allowed my heart to be open to creative solutions and the Universe met me in ways that are miraculous..that is how it works in my life each and every time..I keep my heart open and affirm my beliefs and they are met..in this case I decided if I “lose” my car or my boat, other options will open up; once I stopped being resistant and opened my heart fully, *magic* was available…Works in daily life, not just extraordinary..that is the foundation of my peace filled life..
As you continue on your journey in the way you havedescribed, Joy, someday you will see that life itself imposes no tension on you … tension exists in the gap between how we want life to be and how it is. Destroy the insistence (as you explained) and you close the gap. Nice job
Hi Rob,
I am purposely stretching the boundaries of my comfort zone, so I have been feeling more tension recently. I notice that physical tension goes with worrying thoughts. I also find that I can let all of that go and simply be present with what I am actually doing – not worrying about what isn’t even in front of me. As you might imagine, the action is much more efficient.
This is an interesting process for me because I’m not trying to eliminate tension. I’m willing to have the tension and experience the possibility of accomplishing more than I previously would have imagined.
Vanishing tension is ideal, as you say in this wonderful post, but for me, at this point, not using tension as an excuse to stop feels like the right thing.
Brilliant, Gail … we are creating a very empowering master mind alliance with these comments. Clearly, you really mean business about inner transformation so that you may understand the cause of your pain. Nice inquiry.
For me, surrendering the tension leads to the best results. It’s not about giving up or giving in to the issue creating the tension, but stepping back and allowing God to step in and guide me through the experience.
When I surrender and allow Him to more, I receive more of what I need and less of what I don’t need – like tension, stress or anxiety.
Alex
I am interested in the idea of ‘God’, Alex. ‘God’ is an idea (truth) that causes a lot of joy and a lot of pain for millions of folks. I hear you saying that you believe’God’ works with you (which I imagine gives you joy). The mystic cure for tension in one’s life is to join hands with ‘god’ (now my inquiry is … is this ‘God’ separate from me or an I one with this universal power?)
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You have to take responsibility for your life. If you don’t, then you’ll be at the pitfall of your own demise. Educate yourself on your task at hand. Make a few mistake, but realize in the need. Your then answer and the question in this world of success and failure.
Remember this line: If it’s to be. It’s up to me!
Yes, jonathan … ‘if it is to be, it is up to me’ (as you know – I love that message). Every day, jonathan, remind yourself that real growth is toward realizing your ‘unlimitedness’, and never toward anything else. Thank you
Hi Rob,
This is a very powerful statement “when you truly believe that you have what it takes to cause it to happen; when you believe this, you turn your creative energies in the right direction” This it exactly what everyone should do. If we really believe that we can get whatever we want and do everything to achieve it, we will get it. This is exactly what Johnny, the real estate business man is doing to get that commission.
I’m getting very addicted to your articles Rob, Keep up the excellent work
I eagerly anticipate your comments, Dia. They are inspiring. Thank you. As you come to know the kind of person you actually are – Dia – you quickly see why your life unfolds as it does. I suspect you are realizing this. blessings.
Rob,
I wholeheartedly believe that we do create the tension just as you say, because we fear we won’t get/accomplish whatever it is we’ve been focusing upon. But, what if it were as easy as believing it 100% and then letting it go? Much like in your article we don’t stress over that cup of coffee when we know we have the money to buy it. We need to work on the underlying beliefs and see where they’re going off course – and once we truly believe – it’s as easy as buying that cup of coffee – the “thing” we want will manifest.
YES indeed, Angela, you’ve stated it as simply as possible -we can use our minds in a totally different way when we get the subconscious level of our mind to agree with our aspirations and aims. The subconscious is where ourbeliefs are stored. When we believe we can have what we want, there is no strife, no regrets … we live as naturally as a peaceful mountain stream.
It is about letting go and just… giving. I am not sure that I have expectations of “return” when I let go or give… it is just that I am giving. Yes, when I buy something specific – South Pacific tickets are on sale this week, I will give the money to see the show expecting an experience and a half in return… music that will likely fill my house for months afterward and a wonderful time with my favorite kid… but I give often without expectations of anything in return. There is no tension, just letting go… it actually fills good.
There is so much fear around the country right now – fear that wants to remove rights from others, taking away from others because we feel that something is threatened or has been taken from us. I found myself quite frustrated on Saturday with the fear – why not let go? Why not give to others and give to ourselves in the long run?
Making a claim on everything you give supports the Law of Multiple Returns. Exception. It is not greedy. The more you get in return for what you’ve given – the more you have to give (once again. Make a claim for a multiple return of love when you give it .. of money when you spend it … of service when you tender it … Make a claim on ‘all that is good’ and you help flood the world with more of ‘all that is good’. Thank you for the great inquiry and comment.
I’m fearful that I just may never breakthrough to become a successful musician. I’ve always believed in my music but sometimes the naysayers get hold of my head. I tend to blame the music industry because it is just so hard to break in these days. I just don’t know what it takes sometimes. There is so many talented people that just never seem to make it.
Hi Rob,
I’m not feeling tense today. When practice my principles of truth it’s hard to knock me off my center. I’ve been working on a fun and rewarding project that another friend and I am unveiling on Wednesday. Nope and it’s not about selling a thing. It’s been so much fun I hope you do stop by. We’re leaving it up until Monday at least so anyone else can join in. All tense fearful people are invited. I promise you’ll leave uplifted…that’s what happens when we get out of our I want and need state and get into how can I serve you better. Happy Monday!
The best time, Tess, to allow your ‘principles of truth’ to help you is when you find yourself in a tense situation where it seems like they cannot help you. blessings, rob
Rob, there are so many things that I would highlight on this post were it in print, but the one line that really spoke to me is this, especially the last part: The whole world seems to be in frantic pursuit of things from the world — without the slightest idea that all sowing begins on the inside.
I think for many, fear gets in the way. Fear of looking foolish, sounding like a moron, losing precious money, being the only one standing, etc.
This “sowing from inside” that you speak of has proven to be true for me. Doing anything from a place of love has only brought me more love. I know there are all kinds of terms that describe this but whatever you call it, it works.
Awesome post.
YES, Belinda, ‘sowing from the inside’ is the only answer. People ask, “Why is life so tough?” I respond, “Quit tormenting yourself with this question, since torment is useless. You will soon learn to ask right questions that will give you right answers.” blessings
Oh man I’ve got plenty of tension these days. This post is exactly what I need today. Today I tipped my Barrista an extra buck because I have been uptight around money lately. Guess what? It worked. The rest of the day I have been walking around with a more prosperous attitude. Now, I need to keep it going
For me it’s all about appreciation and giving love. I like what Belinda said, people are running around like chickens with their heads cut off more than ever. They just can’t even see how frantic they are. I can’t change them but I can slow myself down. When I take time to appreciate little things I stay out of that rat race mentality
Rob,
This post hit home with me, as I am feeling tense and overwhelm at various tasks of life, kids and homeschooling! I am hardly alone with any peace, something or the other going on. I have learned that I can control certain aspects and other aspects I have no control over, and no need to fuss and worry about it and accept the inevitable! Work may be still there but life becomes much easier to handle.
Thanks and I am looking forward to your ROAR series of ebooks!
Thank you, Preeti, for your heartfelt comment. It seems that all great thinkers agree that the chief obstacle to happiness is wrong thinking. It is clear to me that you are well aware of this. As you begin noticing more and more those faulty opinions and ideas that try to take center stage in your mind – you refuse to let your own thinking be your obstacle any longer. Good job, Preeti. Blessings.
Like Preeti said we have to know what we have control over and what is out of our hands. My problem is I get tense because I can’t control what other people are doing. I can be a control freak that way. I’m always trying to work on my ‘Right Thinking, Rob. When I can do this I can just let other people be and not take it personally.
Im looking forward to the ROAR books. I am quite curious … I know you have been working on this for quite some time and can’t wait to take a peak. You are always up to something! Let do another seminar soon!
Rob: What a great post and I really appreciated those thought provoking questions. I had to actually go back and read them again because they definitely hit the nail on the head and pointed me in the right direction. I think it is easy to fall into the trap of being tense. I know for me it usually happens when I am worrying about things in the future or letting things overwhelm me that I can really not do anything about at the moment I am worrying. For me, what has seemed to work is to focus on what is currently in front of me and not worrying about things that I think might happen in the future. Thanks for the great post and all the great insights. I really thought this was a good one.
YES, Sibyl …. there is no better way to dissolve tension than to live in the moment (and that takes being conscious!). Most of us forget what it is like to live – ‘fully awake to the moment’. Tension is always about the past or the future, but I try not to be too forward by insisting that folks ‘live in the moment’ because so few folks know what that means. You do! It takes practice. Great comment. blessings,
Rob: I like to think I know how to live in the moment
Thanks for the compliment. If I am being honest though, I am still working on it as well. Sometimes life really just tries to suck you in and all of your attention 
Thanks for the response and kind words.
I like carrying around a bit of tension with me. It keeps me alert and hungry. I think successful people know how to manage their tension. If they werent on edge they wouldn’t really be up to anything worth doing. All my heroes are tense bastards always looking to improve.
Hi Rob,
I can only imagine how frustrating the viruses are. It’s frustrating as a reader, too, to get blocked from your site and wisdom. Glad to see that you have it under control now (crossed fingers).
I think that you have to have a strong inner core to be able to be resilient against anything that life throws at you, regardless of the economy, the environment, or anyone else. Sort of like be like a willow tree – able to bend in the strong wind, but not break.
YES, Karen, a strong inner core (the right values and life principles) will lift us above the worldly harrassments that come at us daily from the lips acquaintances and strangers … and from the evening news). We have developed a ‘woe is me’ society, and it shows in the present state of the union. It can be turned around (one mind at a time) and you are helping with this. blessings.
When I find myself tense now it tends to be for one of two reasons. Either I have left the present and entered the land of worry or regret or because I am not aligned with my purpose. If working with those two areas doesn’t help I bring out the big guns…yoga and one square of the darkest, most exotic chocolate I can find.
I like your comment, C.C. It gives a helpful tip and it offers humor. Humor comes from wisdom. You are a wise soul. blessings
Thats pretty cool rob. You are right, I have never been too tense to order a cup of coffee. However taking my family out for a nice meal makes me woozy! ha ha. I would like to be easy around money and be able to do those things without fear. They are the reason I work so hard.
To me tension is a sign that a person is giving in to fear and not being confident in what they can do. In my experience, whenever I get tense is because I am afraid that something won’t happen or that something will not get completed. When that happens, I remind myself that whatever I fear is far worse than the reality of the situation.
Actually, there is a great quote from a Buddhist teacher which states: “if there is a solution to your problem, then there is no need to worry. If there is no solution to your problem, then there is no need to worry.” I try to remind myself of that whenever I feel fear trying to take hold.
Nice comment, Nadia … it adds depth to the conversation about’tension’. Anyone can discover what her or his life on earth is about when she or he chooses self-discovery over looking for excuses. nice job. blessings
Tension, Eh? I’ve got plenty of that. I’ve been unemployed for a while now and can’t help but feel it. I wasn’t going to reply but I think peoples situations are do different they should realize its OK to feel tension. Sometimes it takes longer than you want. There isn’t a quick fix if you are facing a big challenge. I may be angry but I am a persistent SOB and will come out on top. I’ll take a lesson from Johnny on this one.
Nice one, Ramone … you are courageously honest! Thank you
Hi Rob.
I like how you approached this. First you present the tension that some have at this time, and that first question you provide gets to the heart of what is behind it or what the tension is based on. If one feels like they have the power to take care of all of their needs, there can’t really be tension anymore. Therefore, if that feeling is in place, with a bit of optimism, the tension converts to eagerness to use the opportunity.
I also do like Ramone’s attitude in the comment before mine here.
Hi, I am not sure if your article How to Vanish Tension in These Tough Times | MindAdventure.com is the right place to put this but I have placed a link to your blog on my page. I think my page is somewhat relevant to yours so maybe you can piggyback a little of my traffic.
Regards, Eura Anidi
PS. It is on the right sidebar on my page. Maybe you can put a link back?