January 24th, 2010 by rob white
Is it possible that my inner thought-habits are a consequence of the story I was told as a child, about who I am and what I can expect of life?
What if that story is fraught with impoverished thoughts, like “You’re ONLY HUMAN and “It’s a TOUGH WORLD out there”; then what can I expect my model of reality to hand me?
How about you; does the story you tell yourself about YOU and about LIFE support you with creating a richly promising future?
1. What’s the story you tell yourself about yourself – does it encourage you to take chances to create a brand new enriching future, or does it simply cope and try to sneak by?
2. Does your story have you achieving those dreams you yearn to experience?
I can remember times when I’ve failed, and I took that experience to me that I wasn’t as good as those who succeeded. Has that ever happened to you? When? Is it absolutely true?
Since then, I have learned that we are all fabulous at many things; that is – if we are willing to go the extra mile and do whatever it takes to succeed. And since then – I’ve proven that. How about you? Do you remember an achievement where you startled yourself awake to your unlimited potential?
I’ve also learned that I have my own unique talents, as does everyone else; and if I am unwilling to take chances, I may not ever discover what those talents are. I believe that life will prod you toward your undiscovered talents if you allow it to, and if you are flexible, you will find fresh ways of honing new skills to reveal those talents that waiting to demonstrate through you. Do you believe that? If you don’t – what are you holding as true about you, that if you discovered it was not true, you could believe it? That’s a simple question; read it again, slowly, if it confuses you.
What do you think is absolutely untrue about you that if you decided it was true, would support you with living into the future you dream of living into? Give them some thought; it can be very revealing.
Take a few moments to ponder these questions. Perhaps you can leave a comment that will help others to see themselves and life differently. We all seem to agree that limitedness will be part of our experience; but I believe it is the illusory part of the ‘game of life’ that gives us the opportunity to enjoy breakthrough after breakthrough as we access more and more of the truth about our unlimited side. How does that sit with You?
What I think is true is that this stuff is for dreamers, well wishers and slack-jawed do nothings. I’m a ‘working stiff’ and I don’t think sitting around thinking positive gets results. Entrepreneurs fail because they are bad businessmen, not because of a ‘story’ they were told as a child. If you are an Entrepreneur with no money and no sense you will fail.
If you believe you are ‘a working stiff’ SaltySailorMan – then a ‘working stiff’ is what your beliefs will prove you to be. The first step to freedom from being a ‘working stiff’ is to dare to question if that is REALLY true about you.
SaltySailorMan only has a point from ‘his story’ that positive thinking doesn’t get results. But the question is, Salty, have you ever tried thinking positively or do you automatically go into your story?
When I was in college my story about myself was very optimistic. since then the story has become a nightmare, and I can see that it is really up to me to change that story.
I think it is absolutely untrue that I am unlimited, and if I thought it was really true about me – I would behave very differently and get very different results. But, I don’t believe it.
If you examine your stream of logic, John, you will see the secret to setting yourself free lies in the last sentence. What is it that you ‘BELIEVE’? Therein lies your power to be or not to be unlimited.
I don’t know what ‘thinking positively’ really means. I think critically and don’t delude myself by thinking I will become an Astronaut or some such thing. I have been fairly successful in the Sales world. I have confidence in what I can accomplish and my ability to “take care of business”… Maybe it’s more of cynical-positive thinking… if such a thing can exist.
How can you be cynical and a positive thinker at the same time – that’s ridiculous. I think your cynical for even thinking that, SaltySailor
To be cynical is to have a sneering disbelief. Perhaps it is powerful for some folks to sneeringly disbelieve the world-voice when it insists you are limited and unable to accomplish your heart-felt dreams?
I think it is absolutely untrue that I am smart enough to go to become a school teacher, and if I could figure out how to decide it was true, I would be very happy to go to college and get a teaching degree
When life prods me, it seems to drive me in the wrong direction, not toward undiscovered talents. What am I doing wrong?
When life prods you, it is simply urging you to refine what you are doing to put you back on track, Midge. Let the prodding be your helpful companion, and you will soon see what the ‘school of hard knocks’ is trying to teach you so you can make a right turn on easy street. It’s all in the attitude of how you approach life.
Wow, powerful stuff. I had a “poor me” attitude being raised to struggle responsibly, believing suffering was nobel. My idea of a positive attitude was putting on a happy face while inside I was raging at the injustice of the world. I was the most nobel responsible sufferer, a steamroller to get what I thought I deserved and every step was full of resistance. I now know that I am unlimited absolutely, when I am following my gut, using my talents, following my destiny, loving and honoring myself. The resistance is showing me what I shouldn’t be doing. There is no honor in suffering. Recently, My brother has been hurt. He believes he knows the story and feels betrayed. I tried to share other information could take away the pain. He can not hear it.(yea but) The balm for his pain is there and he can not take it. That was me. Holding on to what I thought I knew and not allowing myself to be freed. I have to be very careful about what I think I know. I am so grateful for a community to share these types of thoughts. Together in love we are divine…;-) (not my saying but isn’t it great!!)
Wow, Dawn – your sharing a piece of your life is great. How refreshing to hear an honest (and wise ) soul like you share your life with us. I too have to be careful with what I think I know that just may not be so. How many times have I had advice for others while secretly harboring my own ‘poor me’ attitude. I am glad to be part of a community who is ready to drop the facade and search for the empowering truth.
Family is tough one. When my father got cancer I wanted to shake him and tell him all about the “Secret” or whatever. Needless to say he didnt want to hear it from me. After some severe head-buttings I had to back off. I think I was causing more distress than help. I had to just support him by being there. He really had to find his own way. Fortunately, he is doing OK and just celebrated his 61st
I have agreed that limitedness will be part of my eartly experience much more than has my brother, Will. His life is incredibly successful, while I am barely hanging onto a dead-end job. I can see that it’s time for me to hold myself accountable for my feelings of limitedness.
It requires courage to hold ourselves accountable for our feelings, John; that means I am responsible for how I see things (that nothing means anything until I give it meaning – gulp). At second thought – what a startling freedom!
My grandfather was a great one for say that my life was ‘mine’ to do with what I wanted. He always emphasized being human was more than being reactive. He’s the reason I am the CEO of my own company today and happily married.
I can remember by parents telling me family stories about my aunts, uncles, cousins etc. They then began weaving a story about me into that story. It all fits together nicely now. What if I’d not come up with a story about my own life? I guess I’d be living from day to day like the lone prarie dog.
I live like a lone prarie dog a lot. I believe Rob’s onto something when he says my model of reality includes some ideas of scarcity if I am experiencing life that way.
I found fresh ways of honing my new accounting skills. I now balance not only my own, but my boyfriends and my mothers checkbooks monthly. The more I help them with theirs, the clearer it all becomes to me about how to manage my own money.
My personal story is filled with great fun these days. I am remembering to tell myself the good times stories everyday so I can attract more of the same. That’s a great piece of advice, Rob.
The story my dad told me about the great future ahead of me has always stuck. When he passed on, I began telling it to myself. I love the motivating feeling it gives me. I have enjoyed many successes over the past decade because of that story.
My story never had me living in my dream house until lately, and things are beginning to happen positively for me. I have to remember to continue this story and take action to support it. thanks.
I found that I have a unique talent. I can tap dance. I used to do it to be funny. Now I am taking lessons and getting pretty good at it. I love this talent, it sets me apart from ‘just being ordinary’.
I have found that when I talk to myself about what I intend to achieve for the day (tell myself that story) that the odds increase that I will achieve it. Self-talk works!
The story I tell myself is the story my father always told me – “you are born to succeed.” I noticed other people didn’t tell themselves that story about themselves and it amazed me how easy it was for them to make a lot of work out of daily tasks. I understand that I am not gifted any more than the rest, but the gift I do have is my father handing me a story, “you are born to succeed”. I appreciate that. I’m in my third year of medical school.
I easily get caught up with feelings of inferiority when playing tennis. Rather than accepting the loss as a signal that I have more to learn, I take it personally and begin beating myself up on the inside. Thanks for reminding me that if I am to improve, then I need to use that energy to learn the game better, not beat myself up.
It is a tough world out there and we are only human – you can’t discount those facts!
I need to work on my story telling skills. The stories I tell myself are flat and they do not motivate me to try new things.
I don’t know the story I tell myself about myself daily, but I do know the story I tell myself about the cold winter: It sucks, and I am a victim of the weather. Does that story empower me? Nope, but I still feel it is true.
If I include this deep recession as part of my model of reality, then I find myself worrying about money. If I include a rich life as part of my model of reality, it is much easier to be inventive with ways to raise my income. I am in the sales business, and I cannot afford to fall back.
I believe my ‘fear of failure’ comes from trying to avoid the feeling that I’m not good enough if I try something new, and blow it. I can see that I must look at myself differently – we are all simply moving forward, tripping up along the way. Thanks.
There are lots of things i was told as a child that still hamper me. My older sister was always bugging me, and I took her criticism seriously. I am just now learning to let go of old thoughts that mess with my head.
My story doesn’t include the dreams I want to experience because I forgot what they were. It’s time I began taking the time to think about the great things I want to experience and put them in my daily story I tell myself. I like being that kind of a story teller.
I can see how my inner thought-habit of ‘being taken advantage of’ has let me down. I am always complaining about this person or that person and never complaining to myself about my own poor choices in life. It is time for me to take a second look at things.
I yearn to be a famous singer. I tell myself that story daily, and I have told myself that story for several years. I am still playing local joints and scraping out a living. Is it me? Is it the way I tell myself that story?
I sense that you yearn to be a great singer, Karen, but the ‘yearning’ has a deep-content thought beneath it that says, “I can’t do it.” If you truly desire something and persist, the interactive forces of universe will come to support you (some call it ‘Providence moving too’).
As a kid, I did not make the school basketball team, and I took it to mean I was inferior. Wow, I carried that with me for years! With the 180 book I have learned to let it go.
It’s hard not to think “it’s a tough world out there” when it really is a tough world out there – but I get your point.
What does life tell me about me and what does my story tell me about life – to be or not to be …. that is the question
My new story to myself is “I am here to win at life” and this story encourages me to take chances. It feels great. Nice technique
My mind was fraught with impoverished thoughts. That is how I became an alcoholic. In order to stop drinking I had to learn to stop thinking that way. It works.
‘You’re only human’ – that is one of my family’s favorite chants. I have decided to let it go. I have begun taking skydiving lessons – what a thrill!
I am holding as true about be tht “I am not smart”. If I could let that lie (that I am holding as true go), I would go the community college and begin my college degree.
I feel great about myself when I spend the time to notice what is fabulous about others. It’s funny how that works that way.
You notice in others what you are sensing in yourself. It is always an inside / outside job, Marilyn. Good job!