January 17th, 2010 by rob white
Have you ever noticed that when you are riding the high wave of a successful day you feel good about yourself. I sense that the journey actually is an INSIDE/OUTSIDE job; we really cannot ride the high wave of success out there in the world if we are having a difficult time dealing with a grumbling mood and salty attitude. It seems we can measure our outer success by measuring the degree of ‘wowsomeness’ we our experiencing with our inner attitude and mood.
The way I live is based on the way I am thinking, and no matter how hard I work at improving my life, if I participate in grumbling inward self-talk, I am guaranteed something will come along and destroy my efforts. Have you ever noticed that about you? When I make up my mind about what I’m up to and commit to making it happen, my attitude becomes one that collects irrefutable evidence to prove I can do it. I have learned that the ‘proof of the truth is in me’; that is if I intend to live my life differently.
How do you act when your attitude and mood give you feedback that supports your new aspiration and aim – I find myself taking chances – do you? If my attitude and mood don’t support my new action, I look for reason to quit. Have you noticed doing that? I’ve learned over time that rather than look for reason to quit, it is wiser to work on reasons why it may be smarter to turn my attitude and mood around; which each and every one of us can do if we are willing to. Stubbornness can be such a mule!
We all create a model of reality that sits well with the attitudes and moods that accompany us through out day. Impoverished attitudes and moods offer a model of reality that is fraught with scarcity. How do we change this model so it better serves us? Work on the attitude – seek to see things differently; assign a new purpose to what you’re doing. Try it – it works!
My opinions are not carved in stone, although sometimes they feel as though they are. When I find my reactions are not working for me, it is best I take a look at the opinions I am clinging to and insisting are true. Have you ever clung to a ‘Poor Me’ attitude and refused to let go? Considering yourself anything less than unlimited is a break from reality, and acting in ways to prove ‘Poor Me’ is the right attitude for you is insanity. I know; I’ve tried! Whenever I blame the world for my ills – I surely slam tight the door to my unrealized potential! Neurosis is taking on an attitude that I am incapable of riding the high wave of success, and then setting out to prove it is true.
When I hear the voice that tells me to quit or give up, sometimes I can realize it is my Ego trying to keep me small. This gets me riled up and I can be stubborn about overcoming that inertia and ultimately succeed. Although, the Ego is very clever — sometimes I get stubborn and stay on a path that just isn’t working. I guess the trick is to know when it is the Authentic-you and when it is your Ego leading the way.
I notice when my attitude is ‘up’ I see the positive feedback the world sends me; and when my attitude is ‘down’ I cannot see the positive feedback no matter how hard I may think I’m trying.
It’s not a trick, Nick, to discover when the ‘Authentic You’ is leading the way; it’s the tricky ego that stops you from even noticing there is an ‘Authentic You’!
It can be an empowering insight to notice when your attitude is down, Kingpin, it seems like there is no positive feedback around. Evolution always offers positive feedback, even in the face of what seems to be your biggest failures.
When my attitude is up, I take risks. When it’s down, I burrow in deep. The trick is to get control of that attitude.
I used to complain about my tasks at work. Now I have assigned them empowering meanings, as Rob advised. What a difference in my attitude! I actually like my job now.
When I’m high thinking I’m flying high and I get things done. When I’m low thinking, it amazes me how much time I can waste complaining but doing nothing about what needs to be changed.
I experience my ‘wowsomeness’ on the basketball court, but not at work. How do I make the transfer?
Whatever you can feel in one domain of your life, Jabin, you can feel in every other domain if you put in the necessary mental effort. You are marvelously made and destined to win at whatever you set your mind to.
I hate how my inward self-talk can guarantee someone will come along and knock the chip off my shoulder when I begrudingly put one on my shoulder, and I love how my inward self-talk can attract to me life’s many riches when I take the time to express praise for all that I love about life.
I have been thinking about this all day. About how to keep my self-talk positive and specifically, where to find the people to support the me I want to be. I am so ready to leave my perfected self pity games behind…it was a black colored lens that distorted my perspective of the whole world. I relegate them to the past. It is a challenge surrounded by people with the old ideas. It makes it too easy to regress.
I can see that the way I act is based on the way I am thinking. Today I woke up in a bad mood, and I notice I am being abrupt and rude with everyone. It’s time to re-think my thinking (as rob has taught me).
Hi Dawn, you are such a wonderful example of what any human can do if they put their mind to it and apply sticktuitiveness to it. I love the changes I have seen in you.
blessings, rob
My attitude toward life very much supports my personal model of reality, and I can see the flaws in my model when my attitude changes and I perceive things from a new perspective. Good stuff, rob.
When I go at things half-heartedly I have one foot out the door. After college I took a temp job and hated every minute of it. Looking back, I could have looked at it differently. I could have taken on a different attitude and saw it as a learning opportunity and stepping stone and maybe formed some valuable professional relationships… instead it was drudgery.
The way I live is based on how I think; wow that is a heavy responsibility to take on. I have to think about that one.
Assign a new purpose to what you are doing and you will see everything differently; now, that’a a novel idea. It’s simple. I like it. Now I have to try it and see how it works.
Try it more than once, Rangly (assigning a new purpose to what you are doing). Try it until it lifts you high, and it will lift you high. Persist.
Whenever I participate in grumbling inward self-talk I look for others to bring the inward outward and start gossiping. Boy can that be a waste of time.
I know when I am being neurotic; I am quick to slam tight the door to my potential by worrying about the big bad world getting me. It’s always easier to notice after the fact.
The trick, Kingpin, is to remain awake so that you can notice your neurotic behavior as it just begins to rear its ugly head. It is much easier to interrupt the pattern before it gains energy. You’re progressing – keep going.
My wife’s always looking for reason to quit before we even get started doing something new. It kills my spirit.
It sounds to me like you might be killing your wife’s spirit, Larry.
I got a lot done today because I woke into a wowsome attitude – atta boy Jake!
With a little mental discipline, waking up every day in a ‘wowsome attitude’ can become your experience – imagine what you’d get done with your life, Jake!
I can see how my mood affects my model of reality. When I am in a bad mood, I see life as tough, and when I am in a good mood, life is beautiful.
Moods are powerful magnets, Barry – your good moods prepave the way for a great day.
My stubborness works on the wrong end of the scale. I am too stubborn about proving life is tough and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve got to loosen up. That stubbornness has handed me a lot of problems.
The problem with most religions is that they believe their opinions are carved in stone, and they get very angry if you disagree.
My attitude has me flying high with wowsomeness these days, and I can see how just my optimistic attitude has me making right choices with everything I’m doing right now.
I still think life is an OUTSIDE / IN JOB. I think what happens to me affects my moods which affects my behavior. If life was always good to me then I would always be in a good mood, but life is often bad to me and I am often in a bad mood. It’s not my fault.
When I get postive feedback, I take more chances, and when I get negative feedback I take it too personally. How do I stop that?
The first step to letting go of taking negative feedback personally, Karen, is to learn to look at your reactions from an objective point of view. What if the negative feedback was not directed at you – what could you learn from it?
I collected evidence to prove to myself that I could pass my real estate broker’s exam, and still failed. I guess the evidence wasn’t irrefutable or I’d have studied more.
Riding the high wave of life with a salty attitude is like trying to get a a promotion at work while grumbling about how the job sucks. I tried that (stupidly) and it did not work! You’ve got to choose – the high wave or grumbling.
When my attitude is ‘up’ I am looking for feedback to grow. When my attitude is ‘down’ I am looking for excuses. I can see the difference, rob
If it’s an inside / outside job then I am heading for trouble, and that’s because I have beren in a very angry mood lately. HELP!
When I made up my mind to go to art school, I was shocked at all the opportunities that arose. Before that, I couldn’t see any possibilities. Making up my mind made a big difference.
I made up my mind to make $40,000 last year selling cars at a local dealership. Because making up my mind made me determined to make it happen, I did it in spite of the bad economy. It was tough, but it worked. Mental discipline is the secret.
My inner attitude is often woesome, and I put an outer wowsome appearance. Guess what? When I persist because I want to change my attitude, it works. If I do it just to get through the day, it doesn’t affect my inner attitude. I have to mean it.
I feel woesome when others (without conscience) put me down in public. I have to learn to let it go by knowing they are just projecting their own feelings of disappointment about themselves on me. This helps me change woe to wow.
My model or reality most clearly affect my moods. Wow, can I ever see that, especially when I get caught in mood-swings! Great insight.
I love the feeling or ‘wowsomeness’. I never thought of calling it that, but that word alone makes me feel goooood!
I watched a movie years ago about a man who was downa and out, and clearly his problem was that his INSIDE self-talk was not giving him any room to change. He was always complaining to himself. That movie helped me to pay attention to how I talk to myself about events in my life. It was an eye opener.
I am a professional skier. What motivated me to go into skiing is that I love taking chances and trying more challenging slopes. Yes, this stuff realy works!
Hi Morty, I know what you mean about outside in..I find it is very easy to loose my good attitude to a challenging environment. I am learning that it doesn’t matter who or what is “at fault”. When I allow inside or outside to drag me down…it is me who is down. I have found a sure cure for a sinking attitude in thinking of all I have to be thankful for. I also try “shikata ga nai” it cant be helped which gives me a floaty feeling that gets me through. I have a friend who puts kookie messages on her phone. I love to call and get the machine…it puts a huge smile on my face. Smile, expect amazing.
Expect amazing! I like that, dawn. It certainly beats expecting the worst.
I don’t believe the proof of truth is in us. I believe it is imposed on us by the world out there. If someone is destined to suffer, there is nothing he can do but learn to tolerate it. I’ve seen too many unexplainable tragedies to believe we have the power to prevent them if they are coming our way.
I do not think we are here to just tolerate ‘hard times’, Steve. I agree with rob that we are superior to our circumstances and can change them.
Working to see things differently is like magic. One moment my complaint feels so real, and the next moment – poof – it’s gone. I like that. It’s a great attitude booster.